Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many individuals believe that a wealthy person helps people in need in deed. Although having substantial wealth gives people a valuable opportunity to improve the lives of others, financial security, personal freedom and access to better opportunities are equally significant benefits. I partly agree with the view and gives explanation of boons of being rich.

One compelling advantage of being wealthy is that wealth gives people the resources and influence to make a positive difference on a larger scale. In other words, rich people have surplus money after meeting their own basic needs, and they can donate to charities, schools, hospitals and orphanage homes. For example, Indian businessman Sir Ratan Tata donate his 70% of wealth to charities and provides scholarships for disadvantaged students. Therefore, wealthy person can create jobs and business opportunities so that people become financially independent.

Helping others is valuable, but personal security and freedom are also major positive sides of wealth. What is more, money can reduce stress caused by financial problems, and also it provides financial secutiy for oneself and one's family. For instance, rich people can afford education, hospital facilities, accomodation, and business schools, which gives them freedom of choice, such as choosing where to live or what career to pursue. Consequently, hey also get the freedom of helping others when they have a huge amount of money in bank accounts.

In conclusion, since money gives wisdom individual for making decisions to help low-income families, tycoon should donate to educational charities to provide education to every academic underachiever. I agree that aiding others is an important advantage, but it is not necessarily the most important benefit for every wealthy person

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout, acknowledging both the importance of helping others and other significant benefits of wealth such as personal security and freedom. Ideas are extended and supported, such as the example of the Indian businessman Sir Ratan Tata donating wealth and providing scholarships. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise in parts, and the conclusion introduces slightly new ideas about wisdom and educational charities rather than simply summarising the main points. The development is generally good, meeting the requirements of Band 6.5 to 7.0, and ultimately fits well within the Band 7 descriptor as all parts of the prompt are addressed with a clear stance and supporting evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are structured into an introduction, clear body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'In other words', 'For example', and 'Consequently', though there are some slight mechanical uses and referencing issues, such as 'hey also get the freedom' instead of 'they'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct sub-topic. Overall cohesion is maintained well enough to meet the Band 6 criteria robustly, leaning towards Band 7 due to the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, attempting less common items such as 'substantial wealth', 'financial security', 'surplus money', and 'disadvantaged students'. However, there are some noticeable word choice errors and typos, such as 'helps people in need in deed' instead of 'indeed', 'secutiy' instead of 'security', and 'accomodation' with a misspelling. There are also occasional awkward collocations, such as 'orphanage homes' instead of 'orphanages'. Despite these minor lexical inaccuracies which do not impede communication, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, justifying a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'Although having substantial wealth gives people a valuable opportunity to improve the lives of others...'. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout, including subject-verb agreement slips like 'gives explanation' instead of 'give an explanation' or 'gives an explanation', and 'Indian businessman Sir Ratan Tata donate' instead of 'donates'. There are also minor spelling and typographical slips. However, these errors do not impede overall communication and the reader can easily follow the meaning, placing this firmly at Band 6.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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