Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In today's World, fewer people think that the most crucial thing about begin rich is has opportunity to help other people because some people have not much to buy daily needs so this is good rich people help to poor people. This essay will discuss both views agree or disagree
On the one hand, this is good think to give money to poor people. because poor people have not much money to buy daily needs things. In the modern era, the price of things and foods is high rate so poor individuals buy not these things. Furthermore, government should less the price of things and food to buy easily by people it's not Budden on mind they feel relax and over the moon as a result, they work easily and help to other people on their work.
On the other hand, there are some demerits like some
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response is severely under-length, containing only 147 words compared to the minimum requirement of 250 words. Furthermore, the essay is incomplete, breaking off mid-sentence in the second body paragraph ('On the other hand, there are some demerits like some'). The introduction attempts to address the prompt by mentioning that helping poor people is good, but the position is not fully developed or sustained. Because the text is incomplete and falls significantly short of the word count, it does not fully address all parts of the task and warrants a low score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay lacks a clear logical organization and progression because it is cut off prematurely. While basic cohesive devices and transition phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'Furthermore' are used, the paragraphing is disrupted by the incomplete ending. The introduction states the essay will discuss both views agreeing or disagreeing, but the body paragraphs fail to deliver a balanced or complete discussion. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall progression is hindered by the abrupt termination of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent lexical errors and awkward collocations. Examples include 'begin rich' instead of 'being rich', 'have not much to buy daily needs', and 'good think' instead of 'good thing'. Phrasing such as 'price of things and foods is high rate' and 'over the moon' demonstrates a limited lexical range and inappropriate style for an academic essay. There are noticeable word choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The writing exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent basic errors. Examples of grammatical inaccuracies include 'one has opportunity to help other people', 'government should less the price', and 'to buy easily by people it's not Budden on mind'. Punctuation and capitalization are also problematic, such as capitalizing 'World' and 'Budden'. Because the essay cuts off mid-sentence, complex structures are either absent or faulty, and frequent errors impede clear communication.
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