Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern era, a sextion of society beleive that the most essential objective of being wealthy is an individual have opportunity to help needy people.I partaly agree with the statement, due to several reasons which will be elaborated further in upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with the reasons for my agreement, the first and the foremost one is developement of particular city.To explain it, is a person is rich in a particular area he have an ability to develop that particular area with he help of his money. For instance, a person is very rich in a city and he is interested in developing education system of that particular city. By building a school in city he can provide free of cost education to needy children who are not able to afford private school's. By doing that more and more children become educated which will further help for the overall development of city.
On the other hand, everybody have power to do hardwork and further become successful in life. Generally a person who is rich do lot of hardwork in his initial days. For instance, a famous businessman of Jalandhar Punjab namely Baldev Raj Mittal open a sweet shop name's lovely sweet's in year 1955 by tooking a loan of rs 500. With the help of their efforts the shop has now a turnover of 100 cr yearly. Now they have lot of money but why the spent money on poor people, the money is of their hardwork he can use money to live a ultra luxurious life. Everybody have potential to start a business and become rich.
To conclude, although by helping needy once a rich person have potential to develop that particular area but on the paradoxical side the money is of a person's hardwork so he may spent money on other things
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether helping others is the most important aspect of being wealthy and establishes a clear, partially agreeing position in the introduction. The ideas are extended, such as the example regarding urban development and building schools, and the counter-argument concerning individual hard work and personal choice. However, some arguments lack full development and generalisations are present, notably in the second body paragraph where the explanation trails off slightly. Overall, the task is addressed adequately with relevant ideas, fitting the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised, separating the introduction, the supporting argument, the counter-argument, and the conclusion. However, cohesion is often faulty or mechanical, relying on repetitive transitional phrases such as 'To commence with' and 'To explain it, is a person is rich'. Referencing is not always clear, and some sentences lack smooth logical transitions between ideas, placing the response firmly at a Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts at less common lexical items such as 'development', 'turnover', and 'luxurious'. However, there are numerous spelling errors ('sextion' for section, 'beleive' for believe, 'partaly' for partly, 'developement' for development, 'tooking' for taking, 'spent' for spend) and lexical inaccuracies that occasionally cause strain for the reader. The range is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic meaning, aligning with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('an individual have opportunity', 'everyone have power', 'the money is of their hardwork'), article omissions ('build a school in city'), and awkward phrasing ('by tooking a loan'). While meaning is generally communicated despite these errors, the high frequency of inaccurate complex structures prevents the essay from reaching a higher band, making Band 5.0 an accurate reflection.
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