Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true

Some beoble concern that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others.However, I quibble from them and propound that become rich also help a person in different ways and give person a lifetime lessons.This essay will surther claborate my reasons yor the same my upcoming paragraphs which i will lead to a logical conclusion.

There are adequate evidence of this view which are substainable. The top - notch concrete reason is when a person become rich he or she help other people, support them financially and etc.Another private asbect is a person changes his or her lifestyle.All the thing in their life changes and a different personality come out.The rearmost coherent factor to be considered which cannot be neglacted is after becoming rich most people forget their past.They become selfish and rude to people which are not enough rich.Thus, It is clear that after becoming rich attitude of most people changes has certainly underably merits/ demerits.

What is half full for some, may appear half empty to others. So people in general trend to distingulsh that person has totally differnet personality before become rich and after becoming rich is totally changed which had many reasons. To commence with, some people deem that richness is one thing that all people need and they also uphold that.

I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting that after becoming rich most impostant thing is that rich people help poor people.However, contrary cannot be overload either.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the most important thing about being rich is helping others, but the development of ideas is severely hampered by numerous lexical and grammatical errors, leading to confusion. The writer states an opposing view ('I quibble from them'), but the arguments presented in the body paragraphs—such as people changing their lifestyle and becoming selfish—lack clear connection and development. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon superficially, the lack of coherent reasoning and underdeveloped arguments place this performance within Band 4.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of the essay is problematic. Although paragraph breaks are used, the logical progression of ideas is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, resulting in disjointed sentences. For instance, phrases like 'The rearmost coherent factor' and 'What is half full for some' do not function logically within the context of the essay. Furthermore, referencing is unclear throughout, making it very difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. These issues align closely with Band 4 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical range is extremely limited and heavily impacted by severe word choice and spelling errors. Throughout the text, words are incorrectly used or misspelled, such as 'concurrent' instead of 'current', 'beoble' instead of 'people', 'quibble' instead of 'differ', and 'substainable' instead of 'sustainable'. These numerous errors significantly strain the reader and frequently obscure meaning. Because the vocabulary lacks the precision and control required for higher bands, a score of 4.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical structures attempted are very basic and frequently faulty. The essay contains a high density of errors in simple and complex sentences alike, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('a different personality come out'), tense usage, and awkward phrasing ('become rich also help a person'). Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic. Because errors are very frequent and constantly impede communication, the response fits the Band 4 descriptors.

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