Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that in this contemporary era, there has been rapid increase in wealthy or rich people owing to numerous earning methods and advanced education system in every country. However, it is argued that being a rich does not mean having plenty of assets, the one who can assist others can be known as a wealthy. I largely agree with this school of thought due to some reasons, which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs along with feasible epitomes.

To begin with, one significant reason is that if a individual had achieved the position in well standardised life phase by owing higher amounts of money, he/she should help poors for sake of humanity as the dependent lives, especially disabled ones are relied on others. The more they attain help from wealthy personalities, the long they would survive. Therefore, from perspective of humanity, the ones who are able to provide financial aid to people under poverty line are the rich persons.To exemplify, in Nepal,the residents of flooded area -were faciliated with money, food or accomodation by popular celebrities due to which they regarded as saviours by local Governments there, which resulted in gaing more and more publicity to that personalities.Thus, it is essential to help needy community by wealthy individuals.

Furthermore, as it is well known that poors are either relied on rich people or on policy makers, if wealthy people help them ( poors ), regime's burden of providing financial stability to under poverty people will automatically reduced. Then, the national authorities might be able to focus on other fundamental investments such as medical, education or infrastructure of the nation. Beside this, personal relationships among society will also increase. The reason is people will trust more and more on each-other and also they able to reduce their insecurities of failures in life. To cite an example, children, who can not study because of low incomes ought to be helped by rich entrepreneours by opening free education schools in their area. As a result, the education system of any country will strengthen.

Nevertheless, in spite having several positive points, this thought is not without negative points , sometimes the help recievers are not actual needy ones. In other words, until unless the scammers are not regulated by the law makers from the ground of technology, people can not trust on charity sites. Taking a good illustration of it, recently, a million dollars were transfered by a charity organisation from many innocents by attaching them emotionally with fake situations. In addition to this, if money goes in wrong hands, they can use it in illegal activities such as drug trafficing and so on . Therefore, it is not fully justified to say that the rich are those who help others, sometimes the situations can go more worst, even if they ( wealthiers ) assumed to curb it.

To conclude, although sometimes the capital goes in wrong hands or they use it in wrong ways, I believe being a rich is absolutely helping others because it also helps themselves by gaining more and more fame , consequently it increases their fan base and respect in society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear and developed position on whether being rich is primarily about helping others. The writer introduces relevant ideas regarding humanitarian aid, social responsibility, and the potential downsides of giving, such as scams or illegal use of funds. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise, and certain ideas could be extended with more precision. For instance, the discussion on scams in the third body paragraph wanders slightly from the central premise of wealth definition. Overall, the task is addressed adequately and meets the criteria for Band 6.5, which rounds to a band score of 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a clear overall organisation with a traditional four-paragraph structure. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'Nevertheless', and 'To conclude'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in awkward transitions like 'until unless the scammers are not regulated' and repetitive linking patterns. Paragraphing is present and logically separates the different facets of the argument, but the internal logical progression within paragraphs occasionally falters due to grammatical interference and phrasing choices. This reflects the characteristics of Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'contemporary era', 'feasible epitomes', 'humanitarian aid', and 'entrepreneurs'. However, there are frequent inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as writing 'a individual', 'well standardised life phase', 'poors', 'gaing', and 'wealthiers'. Spelling errors like 'faciliated', 'accomodation', 'recievers', and 'trafficing' also occur. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambitious structures such as 'if a individual had achieved the position in well standardised life phase by owing higher amounts of money, he/she should help poors...'. However, control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('a individual', 'flooded area'), incorrect verb tenses and forms ('had achieved', 'are relied', 'might be able to focus'), and preposition errors ('from perspective of humanity'). Punctuation is also flawed in places with spacing errors around commas. These non-systematic errors place the grammar at Band 5.5.

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