Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often argue that the primary advantages of accumulating wealth is the ability to assist those in need. While, i agree that philanthropy is one of the most noble and impactful privileges of being wealthy, I strongly disagree that is the single most important aspect, as financial independence nd personal security play a far more fundamental role for the individual.

On the one hand, the capacity to engage in large scale philanthropy is undeniably a major benefit of wealth. Affluent individuals posses the financial capital required to drive systemic social change, such as funding medical research, constructing educational facilities, or sponsoring humanitarian aid. For instance, global philanthropists like Bill Gates have eliminated diseases and improved living standards for millions through targeted funding. Without, substantial private wealth, initiativities of this magnitude would often stuggle to secure necessary support. Thus, using financial power to empower disadvantaged communities represents one of the highest moral uses of surplus capital.

On the other hand, the most significant personal aspect of wealth lies in the absolute freedom and security provides to the owner. Financial abudance liberates individuals from the daily stress of survival, enabling them to make choices unconstrained by monetary limitations. Wealth allows people to afford superior health care, pursue a lifelong passions and secure a comfortable future for their families. Furthermore, from a logical standpoint, an individual must first achieve financial stability before they can effectively assist others. Therefore, personal security and self- determination form the indispensable foundation upon which all charitable endeavors are built.

In conclusion, although the opportunity to make a positive impact on society is a profond advantage of being rich, I believe that personal atonomy and security remain the most vital aspects of wealth. Philanthropy is best view as an extraodinary privilege that stems naturally fro financial success rather than its sole primary purpose.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the task thoroughly and presents a clear, well-developed position throughout. The writer acknowledges the importance of philanthropy in the second paragraph, stating that 'the capacity to engage in large scale philanthropy is undeniably a major benefit of wealth,' while strongly defending the counter-position that personal security and freedom are more fundamental in the third paragraph. Ideas are well-supported with relevant examples, such as mentioning 'global philanthropists like Bill Gates.' The conclusion neatly ties the arguments together. The position is consistent and fully articulated, meeting the criteria for a high band. There are no notable omissions or underdeveloped arguments in relation to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Ideas are logically sequenced with a clear overall progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively, with each body paragraph dedicated to a distinct viewpoint ('On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'). Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'Therefore,' and 'In conclusion' are managed well to guide the reader through the argument. While referencing and cohesion are generally strong, occasional punctuation glitches and minor mechanical phrasing slightly prevent the highest level of natural flow, keeping this at a solid band 7.5 to 8 level. Overall, the logical structure and referencing are clear and effective throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The writer demonstrates a sufficient and often wide range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic discussion, utilizing terms such as 'philanthropy,' 'accumulating wealth,' 'systemic social change,' and 'self-determination.' Less common items are attempted with a good awareness of style and collocation, as seen in phrases like 'surplus capital' and 'indispensable foundation.' However, there are a few noticeable lexical and spelling errors that prevent a higher band, such as 'nd' instead of 'and,' 'initiativities' instead of 'initiatives,' 'stuggle' instead of 'struggle,' 'abudance' instead of 'abundance,' and 'atonumy' instead of 'autonomy.' Despite these occasional slips, communication is never impeded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The student uses a variety of complex structures successfully, including conditional and participial clauses, such as 'Affluent individuals posses the financial capital required to drive systemic social change...' and 'enabling them to make choices unconstrained by monetary limitations.' There are frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating good overall control of grammar and punctuation. However, some minor grammatical and punctuation errors persist, notably the faulty introductory clause ('It is often argue that...') and a missing comma splice or awkward punctuation in sentences like 'While, i agree...'. Despite these occasional inaccuracies, the majority of sentences are grammatically sound and complex structures are handled with good control.

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