Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, the issue of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has attracted considerable public and academic attention. While some people contend that rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has a positive impact on needy people condition other miaintain that this can affect them negatively. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own view.

On the one hand, critics of rich is that one has opportunity to help others, frequently point out a number of underlying causes. A major reson for this is that people can't work properly resulting in we can help only needy person as well as its directly effect on the labour work. For example, recent research has shown that we can help poor people and they are not do hard work. Furthermore, people always depend on other person, which make a less sustainable in long run.

On the other hand, proponents of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others emphasize a number of positive outcomes. This is primary reason because we can save many lifes, which in turn leads to we can pay hospital bills. consequently, we helps old age people. For instance, needy people blessed rich person, clearly illustrating how rich is that one has the opportunity to help others can positively influence both---and---

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the most important thing about being rich is the opportunity to help others, but the handling of the topic is severely limited. First, the essay fails to meet the minimum word count of 250 words, containing only 223 words, which directly penalises the Task Achievement score. Furthermore, the student's position is obscured by repetitive phrasing derived directly from the prompt, such as 'rich is that one has the opportunity to help others'. The ideas presented in the body paragraphs are extremely limited, under-developed, and lack logical elaboration. For instance, the argument that helping the poor causes them not to work hard is asserted without sufficient supporting evidence or clear explanation. Consequently, the response earns a band 4.0 for Task Achievement due to minimal task completion and under-length constraints.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay is organised into an introduction and two body paragraphs, but it lacks a concluding paragraph. While basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For example' are used to structure the text, the overall progression is hindered by severe mechanical errors in cohesion and referencing. The repeated use of clunky, ungrammatical phrasings acts as a cohesive barrier rather than a bridge. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph breaks off abruptly with incomplete sentences ('both---and---'). Due to the lack of overall coherence, repetitive structural patterns, and faulty referencing, the response falls into the band 4.0 category.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical resource displayed throughout the essay is very limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on copying chunks of the prompt verbatim, resulting in awkward and unnatural phrases like 'the issue of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others'. There is a lack of flexibility, and attempts to use less common vocabulary fail due to poor word choice and collocation, such as 'labour work', 'save many lifes', and 'needy people blessed rich person'. Spelling errors and incorrect word forms further impede comprehension, particularly in phrases like 'A major reson for this'. This performance aligns closely with the band 4.0 descriptors for lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying on simple sentence structures and repetitive templates that are frequently faulty when complexity is attempted. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('people always depend on other person, which make a less sustainable'), tense inconsistencies ('they are not do hard work'), and ungrammatical clause structures ('which in turn leads to we can pay hospital bills'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also problematic, culminating in incomplete thoughts at the end of the response. Because errors are frequent and often distort meaning, the grammar warrants a band 4.0 score.

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