Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, the issue of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has attracted considerable public and academic attention. While some people contend that rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has a positive impact on needy people condition other miaintain that this can affect them negatively. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own view.

On the one hand, critics of rich is that one has opportunity to help others, frequently point out a number of underlying causes. A major reson for this is that people can't work properly resulting in we can help only needy person as well as its directly effect on the labour work. For example, recent research has shown that we can help poor people and they are not do hard work. Furthermore, people always depend on other person, which make a less sustainable in long run.

On the other hand, proponents of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others emphasize a number of positive outcomes. This is primary reason because we can save many lifes, which in turn leads to we can pay hospital bills. consequently, we helps old age people. For instance, needy people blessed rich person, clearly illustrating how rich is that one has the opportunity to help others can positively influence both---and---

In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the rich is that one has the opportunity to help others, it can be concluded that the issue (present both challenge and opportunities / has both problems and solutions / shows both causes and effects). Therefore, a balanced approach is needed that acknowledge the risk while (maximizing / finding) the (benifits / solutions) of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others, Particularlywhen it is implemented in a responsible and well- regulated manner

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the most important thing about being rich is the opportunity to help others. However, the task achievement is heavily compromised by repetitive, template-like phrasing ('rich is that one has the opportunity to help others') inserted mechanically into nearly every paragraph, which obscures the student's actual position. While there are some basic ideas presented regarding the pros and cons of financial aid—such as fostering dependency versus saving lives and paying hospital bills—these ideas remain largely underdeveloped, generalized, and occasionally contradictory. The conclusion contains unedited template placeholders like '(present both challenge and opportunities / has both problems and solutions)'. Consequently, the response aligns best with Band 4 descriptors as it addresses the prompt only minimally and tangentially due to severe mechanical repetition and lack of clear idea progression.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay is divided into four standard paragraphs, and basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are attempted. However, the overall logical organization and progression fail because sentences are often disjointed and rely excessively on repetitive phrasing rather than meaningful cohesive links. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the mechanical insertion of the prompt wording creates severe disruptions in logical flow. Furthermore, the inclusion of unedited placeholder options in the conclusion ('(maximizing / finding) the (benifits / solutions)') severely undermines paragraph coherence. These features place the response firmly in Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently and progression is lacking.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is extremely limited, repetitive, and heavily dependent on copying words directly from the prompt. Phrases like 'rich is that one has the opportunity to help others' are repeated verbatim throughout the essay, demonstrating a distinct lack of lexical flexibility or paraphrase. There are also spelling errors ('reson' instead of reason, 'benifits' instead of benefits) and awkward word choices such as 'labour work' and 'old age people'. While the student manages to communicate some basic semantic intent, the severe repetition of basic items and inability to use a wider range of appropriate vocabulary restrict this response to Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is severely restricted, consisting mostly of simple and overly complex, faulty structures. There is a high frequency of grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('needy people blessed rich person', 'which make a less sustainable'), incorrect verb forms ('they are not do hard work'), and fragmented or incomplete clauses ('which in turn leads to we can pay hospital bills'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries break down entirely near the end of the second body paragraph with raw placeholder dashes ('──and──'). These persistent, heavy errors frequently strain the reader and obscure meaning, placing the performance in Band 4.

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