Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, the issue of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has attracted considerable public and academic attention. While some people contend that rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has a positive impact on needy people condition other miaintain that this can affect them negatively. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own view.

On the one hand, critics of rich is that one has opportunity to help others, frequently point out a number of underlying causes. A major reson for this is that people can't work properly resulting in we can help only needy person as well as its directly effect on the labour work. For example, recent research has shown that we can help poor people and they are not do hard work. Furthermore, people always depend on other person, which make a less sustainable in long run.

On the other hand, proponents of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others emphasize a number of positive outcomes. This is primary reason because we can save many lifes, which in turn leads to we can pay hospital bills. consequently, we helps old age people. For instance, needy people blessed rich person, clearly illustrating how rich is that one has the opportunity to help others can positively influence both---and---

In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the rich is that one has the opportunity to help others, it can be concluded that the issue (present both challenge and opportunities / has both problems and solutions / shows both causes and effects). Therefore, a balanced approach is needed that acknowledge the risk while (maximizing / finding) the (benifits / solutions) of rich is that one has the opportunity to help others, Particularlywhen it is implemented in a responsible and well- regulated manner.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the prompt in a basic way, acknowledging the topic of whether being rich is important primarily for helping others. However, the student struggles significantly with maintaining a clear and consistent position due to severe formulation issues, repeatedly using the awkward template phrase 'rich is that one has the opportunity to help others' instead of developing original arguments. The ideas presented in the body paragraphs are heavily repetitive, under-developed, and at times incoherent, such as claiming that helping poor people means 'they are not do hard work.' Because the arguments lack clear extension and logical support, the response falls short of the higher band criteria and aligns most closely with Band 4.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay is divided into four standard paragraphs, and an overall essay structure is attempted. However, progression is seriously hindered by repetitive phrasing and a failure to logically connect ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as the transitional phrase 'Consequently, we helps old age people' and the erroneous template placeholders in the conclusion ('(present both challenge and opportunities / has both problems and solutions / shows both causes and effects)'). Referencing is frequently unclear, and sentences do not flow logically from one to the next, resulting in an arrangement that struggles to maintain overall coherence. This reflects the descriptors for Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical resource is severely limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on memorized, ungrammatical template chunks (e.g., 'rich is that one has the opportunity to help others') throughout the entire essay rather than demonstrating a flexible vocabulary. There are frequent word-choice and word-form errors, such as 'needy people condition', 'mainntain', 'reson', 'lifes', and 'benifits'. These lexical limitations and errors significantly impede communication, restricting the score to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The student attempts complex structures, but these attempts are almost entirely faulty, featuring severe structural errors, subject-verb agreement issues ('we helps old age people'), tense inconsistencies ('they are not do hard work'), and broken clause structures. Punctuation is also mishandled, particularly with incomplete parentheses in the conclusion. Simple sentences frequently contain basic errors, and the density of grammatical mistakes causes constant difficulty for the reader, placing the performance at Band 4.0.

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