Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A certain group of people says that rich people have the opportunity to help other people and that is a very important thing for them. This essay concurs with the given statement because there are many official ways that rich people can adapt to help people such as giving employement opportunities and providing motivation to become rich

To begin with the first cause of agreement with the aformentioned opinion, it is that rich people can provide enough job opportunities to local public. To explain it, rich people runs businesses in different sectors such as manufacturing packing or saling, they need workers on every stage of work. They appoints many employees in their business so they fullfil the job needs of many local persons. To give an example, according to the survey of BBC news, world's maximum people are working in private sectors in various working areas.

Additionally, another aspect that leads to the same view with the approach in question is that, rich people can be an example of successful life. They can guide people how they achieved this success and others can also achieve it by adaption of some plans and things. They can give direction to others to become rich so they can help them to become financially stable as they are. To quote an instance, Oxford University have found that, most of the businessmen are became successfull with the guidence of their seniors or their mentors.

To conclude, due to the discussed points rich people can help individuals by giving good jobs and providing valuable directions to become rich, this essay has the same understanding that rich people have the most important opportunity to help others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance agreeing with the idea that the most important aspect of being rich is the opportunity to help others. The writer presents two main supporting ideas: that wealthy individuals can provide employment opportunities, and that they can act as mentors or guides for others to achieve financial success. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat generalised and lack fully developed depth or specific real-world examples, relying instead on vague references such as a 'survey of BBC news' or 'Oxford University'. Consequently, the development sits comfortably within Band 6, as all parts of the task are addressed with a clear position, but the supporting arguments remain somewhat simplistic and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, fulfilling basic paragraphing requirements. Logical progression is attempted using cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these cohesive markers is occasionally mechanical and repetitive, and referencing is sometimes weak, such as 'the same view with the approach in question'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate main ideas, but transitions between sentences can feel abrupt due to grammatical awkwardness. This overall performance aligns best with Band 6 descriptors for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common items and topic-specific vocabulary such as 'financially stable', 'sectors', and 'mentors'. However, there are notable limitations and frequent lexical inaccuracies, including word formation errors ('employement', 'aformentioned', 'successfull', 'guidence'), awkward collocations ('runs businesses in different sectors such as manufacturing packing or saling'), and misuse of verbs ('appoints many employees', 'are became successfull'). While these errors do not severely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score to Band 5, as noticeable word-choice and spelling errors regularly occur.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('rich people runs', 'businesses... they appoints'), incorrect verb tenses ('most of the businessmen are became successfull'), and missing articles or prepositions. Although the meaning remains mostly clear despite these frequent slips, the high density of structural errors prevents the response from reaching Band 6, placing it firmly at Band 5 due to frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader.

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