Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is often consider that to support the others who needs the help as well. I completly agree with this statement, although it prove a security against crisis.
On the one hand, people who are rich can easily afford any thing while poor people not and these ellite class can be prove helpful for needy as build a hospital, charity work or donation to fullfill the needs of real white color people. For instance, Bill Gates have shown that generosity and charity can impactmillions of lives.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that being rich is also ofdfers personel benefits. Rich can get a helthy life, quality education as well as those facilites that other never get through the whole life and its worse point i s that when your desire and goals meet you loos your passion thatyou have before getting your drem. But, in order to support low income and hand to mouth people will definately brings smiles and happines on your face.
In conclusion, while the money brings happy life and meet the qulities of life but I believe that inothing is more signnificant other than the helping underline population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the task question about whether the most important aspect of being rich is the opportunity to help others, and a clear position is stated in the introduction. However, the length requirement has not been met, as the essay contains only 194 words against the 250-word minimum. This results in under-developed ideas and limited elaboration. While the writer briefly touches upon both charitable opportunities and personal benefits, the arguments remain somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of Bill Gates is relevant but lacks extension. Due to the severe under-length penalty and the lack of full idea development, this performance aligns closely with Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, showing an attempt at standard essay structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and abrupt transitions. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, such as using 'On the other hand' inappropriately when introducing personal benefits rather than a direct counter-argument to the previous point. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as seen in sentences like 'it prove a security against crisis.' Paragraphing is present, but overall cohesion is mechanical and faulty, placing it securely within the Band 5 category.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'ellite class' instead of 'elite class', 'impactmillions' instead of 'impact millions', and 'qulities of life' instead of 'quality of life'. Phrases such as 'real white color people' are unnatural and misuse idiomatic terms. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'generosity' and 'charity', the high frequency of basic lexical errors and spelling mistakes prevents the response from achieving a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to ungrammatical constructions such as 'It is often consider that to support the others who needs the help as well' and 'in order to support low income and hand to mouth people will definately brings smiles'. Subject-verb agreement errors, tense inconsistencies, and incorrect prepositions are pervasive throughout the text. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and reflect the characteristics of a Band 4 grammatical performance.
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