Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The growing influence rich people modern society has sparked various debates. This issue is particularly significant because its impact affect communities and individuals in multiple ways. In this essay, I will discuss agree and disagree aspects of opppotunities to helps other people.One of the key benefits, rich people help in the poor people. The rich people help education provide a free in poor people. Therefore, the donate of the money other opporunities as food and medical check up. The support of the difficult situations. Basically, helps future plain as a support many opportunities is that its promotes access to a wide range of opportunities.This is also evident from the fact, the rich people marriage a poor people daughters goodness helps in improving tolerence, understanding, and problem solving methods.

Secondary, the rich people has a life very easy. The rich provide children better life and better education. The pakistani government provide a rich people better health care medical check up and better good education provide daily oportunities. The money allows better treatment in good hospitals and good treament life very easy and poor poeple life very hard. Rich people has a life very stressfull and poor life not life stress full because rich people high invest other things and poor people not invest a money.

In conclusion, rich people helps in other poor people and poor people helps rich people life very easy provide both significant advantages notable challenges and its depend impacts on how effectively it is managed for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the most important thing about being rich is the opportunity to help others. However, the development of ideas is severely limited by frequent grammatical and lexical breakdowns, making the writer's position difficult to follow. While the text touches upon concepts such as charitable donations, education, and healthcare support, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack coherent extension. Important aspects of the task, such as evaluating the extent of agreement, are obscured by unclear phrasing and disjointed thoughts. Consequently, the performance aligns most closely with Band 4 descriptors, where the response touches upon the task only minimally and lacks fully articulated supporting ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of the text is hindered by poor paragraphing and a lack of logical progression. Although the essay is divided into introductory, body, and concluding sections, the transitions between sentences are frequently abrupt and confusing. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, as seen with disjointed connectors like 'Secondary' instead of 'Secondly'. The referencing within sentences is often unclear, leaving the reader struggling to connect pronouns to their intended antecedents. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, which places the response firmly within the Band 4 criteria, where information and ideas are not arranged in a consistently coherent manner.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and heavily constrained. The student relies on a very narrow range of words, frequently misusing terms, such as 'rich people marriage a poor people daughters goodness' and 'future plain'. Spelling and word-choice errors occur constantly, including typographical and formulation errors like 'opppotunities', 'helps' instead of 'helping', and 'stressfull'. Because these errors significantly strain the reader and obscure the intended meaning, the lexical resource corresponds to Band 4, reflecting basic and limited vocabulary usage that frequently impedes clear communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the response. The text is dominated by simple, fragmented, and severely malformed sentence structures, such as 'The rich people help education provide a free in poor people.' There is a total absence of complex sentence control, and basic grammatical rules—such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositions—are violated in almost every sentence. Frequent errors frequently distort meaning and cause severe difficulty for the reader. Therefore, the grammatical performance warrants a Band 4, as the range of structures is very limited and errors are persistent and intrusive.

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