Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's interconnected world, There is a lot of benefits about being rich, it is the most important thing in our daily life. According to in this technological era, everyone wants to become rich in their life and earn lots of money, cause of money people fulfill their desires, and personal basic needs. few individuals believe that the most significant thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I will analyze both perspectives and provide my conclusion.

On the one hand, being rich in life, people feel more satisfied, becouse everyone afford everything if they become rich, also fullfill their basic needs, and feel happily. having more money is a entire solution for all problems, as well as it is a chance to help others, most of the people are innocent and soft-hearted. These type of people everytime wants to help other people, becouse of doing help to other people feel relaxed, and satisfied. In other words, we can say that type of persons is god giffed for poor people. they help other individuals like; donate clothes, food, basic things which is use in our daily lives, also sometimes build shelters for poor people. some people feel that, It is beneficial chance to remove their sins. I believe that before helping to other people, please ensure that poor people is eally poor or greedy, becouse sometimes unemployed people do not work, even they are overall fit and healthy.

On the other hand, sometimes people being rich, but they do no help other people. that type of people, we can say in our words, they have small heart, they cannot want to spend their money on other people. Couse of being rich in their life, that type of people have attitude for having money. as well as doing financial help to other poor people is good but it has some negative devlopments like everybody earn money in their life for doing hard work. But needy people do not want to work, even when they are already fit body, In simple words they are physically able to do work for their livelihood. so that type of people we don't have need to do help.

In conclusion, This statement has both benifits and drawbacks, I analyze both agree and disagree points, it has lot of merits, instead of demerits. A balanced approach is therefore, a sensibe conclusion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt regarding whether the most important thing about being rich is having the opportunity to help others, but the development remains somewhat limited and repetitive. The introduction outlines that you will analyze both perspectives, but the actual stance shifts and becomes a discussion of whether poor people deserve help rather than deeply exploring the core premise of wealth and altruism. For example, in the second body paragraph, the discussion veers into judging whether individuals are genuinely poor or simply lazy, which under-develops the central argument about wealth and helping others. While all parts of the task are touched upon, the ideas lack the robust extension and clear positioning needed to advance to a higher level. To improve, ensure that every body paragraph directly supports your main thesis with focused explanations and distinct supporting examples rather than drifting into tangential commentary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some overall organization with standard paragraph breaks dividing the introduction, body, and conclusion, but there is a lack of clear progression throughout. Cohesive devices are frequently basic, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the heavy reliance on phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' which are sometimes used mechanically without effectively contrasting the arguments. Referencing can also be unclear, as seen in sentences like 'That type of people, we can say in our words...' where pronoun reference to previously mentioned groups becomes blurred. To achieve greater coherence, you should work on establishing a smoother logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, utilizing a wider and more accurate range of cohesive links to connect your ideas naturally without mechanical repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'becouse', 'fullfill', 'devlopments', and 'sensibe'. The response attempts some less common vocabulary, like 'innocent and soft-hearted' or 'livelihood', but these attempts are often accompanied by awkward phrasing or collocation issues, such as 'doing help' instead of 'helping' or 'god giffed'. To move to a higher band, you need to expand your lexical range, pay closer attention to standard spelling and word formation, and ensure that words are used in appropriate collocations that precisely convey your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic coordination. When complex sentences are attempted, they are frequently faulty, often resulting in run-on sentences or comma splices, such as 'In today's interconnected world, There is a lot of benefits about being rich, it is the most important thing in our daily life.' Frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation persist throughout the text, including 'everyone afford' and 'cause of money people fulfill'. These frequent errors can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence boundaries, correct subject-verb agreement, and accurate grammatical patterns for complex clauses.

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