Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is considered by people that becoming rich is better for society. If people have money they would have the ability to help needy human beings. Money makes an opportunity for richer ones to do good deeds by helping out the poor.

Wealthy people can give charity to poor people who do not bear their expanses. There are multiple people are surrounding us, which do not afford a meal for a one time. They do not have clothes for wearing, they always hope for someone, who helps them and bring them clothes to wear.

Although, charity plays a crucial role in the world, being rich is not only good for self one but also it it better for everyone. Most of students are there who want to study but do not afford their studies due to pooverty. Results, their future ruined just because of shortage of money and limited resources.

Moreover, when rich ones give scholarships to needy students who have dreams to become successful they might have chance to change their lives. Education is the only way to unlock the opportunities, face hurdles and build up a good career. While after building career, when someone becoming financially independent and have gone through hard circumstances, he has wish to helps others, that make someone also a good human being.

It can be concluded by expressing that financial aid is also beneficial for the patients who do not afford their treatment. On the other hand, Older aged people who do not have children or can not earn they also are our responsibility for being humans. So everyone should work hard for becoming rich and have positive intentions for helping people and contribute for society as a human.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether the most important thing about being rich is helping others, presenting a clear position that wealth is beneficial for society mainly due to charitable opportunities. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on students who cannot afford their studies or patients needing medical treatment is introduced briefly without deep exploration or specific examples. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the development is basic, leading to a restricted exploration of the topic that fits the current level. To progress, the writer should extend and support their ideas with more elaboration rather than moving quickly from one point to another.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a discernible attempt to organise the essay into paragraphs, each generally centring on a specific group that the rich can help, such as students, patients, and the elderly. However, the overall progression lacks a smooth flow, and the relationships between ideas can feel somewhat disconnected. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes repetitive or mechanically applied, as seen in transitions like 'Although, charity plays...' and 'Moreover, when rich ones give...'. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as pronoun use in 'so everyone should work hard for becoming rich'. To improve, the writer needs to ensure more logical links between sentences and paragraphs to establish a clearer progression of thought throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, with a limited range that suffices to convey the general message. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'financially independent' and 'circumstances', but these are accompanied by noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing, such as 'needy human beings', 'bear their expanses', and 'for a one time'. There are also occasional word form errors, such as 'pooverty' and 'becoming'. These lexical lapses reflect an adequate base, but require greater precision and variety. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and use less common lexical items more accurately and naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex forms, which are often faulty when attempted. Frequent errors are present across various structures, including verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage, as demonstrated in phrases like 'Most of students are there who want to study', 'Results, their future ruined', and 'Older aged people who do not have children or can not earn they also are our responsibility'. These recurring grammatical inaccuracies can cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer should focus on strengthening sentence control, ensuring proper verb forms, and reducing the frequency of basic grammatical errors.

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