Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people say that the most fundamental thing about wealthy is that one has the way to help others. I believe that being rich one has many opportunities to help others.
Admittedly, when a person becames rich he has many ways to help others. He can help poors by giving them jobs, by providing basic needs so they can live a simple life. He can also help young generation by giving them basic education. He can also help old people by giving them a simple tasks by which they remain engage with work. He can also help homeless people by creating homes for them. He can also help talented youth by giving them opportunity to perform in national as well as international.
Moreover, being rich has advantages but it also has some disadvantages. When a person becomes rich, he become greedy and he overlooks needy people. When a person becomes rich he works hard to be more rich. There are many people who do not help others when they become rich. There are many reasons of this. When a person help others he or she caught in a camera so, government want clearance of tax. When a person becomes rich he will be very busy in his life. He has no time to look over the problems of needy and homeless people.
Similarly, I would say that they are many people who help others when they become rich. There are some people who do not help others but they are only few one who help. Being rich outweighs its disadvantage of not helping o
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the task partially by presenting a position and some relevant ideas, but these ideas remain limited and under-developed. While you agree with the statement and mention various ways wealthy individuals can help others, such as providing jobs or basic needs, these points are listed rather than extended with specific explanations or examples. Furthermore, the second body paragraph shifts focus to discuss the disadvantages of being rich and tax complications, which slightly detracts from a clear, sustained focus on the prompt. To move to a higher level, you need to fully develop your main ideas with detailed explanations and maintain a consistent focus throughout the entire essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some organisation evident in the structure, but the response lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, with distinct introduction, body, and concluding sections, but the internal flow within paragraphs is often repetitive and disjointed. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and repetitively, particularly the excessive reliance on phrases like 'He can also help' and 'When a person becomes rich', which creates a monotonous rhythm. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the conclusion fails to clearly synthesise the main points of the argument. To improve cohesion, you should employ a wider variety of transition signals and ensure logical links between sentences.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'fundamental thing about wealthy' instead of 'wealth', 'becames' instead of 'became', and 'poors' instead of 'the poor'. You also repeat basic words and phrases extensively throughout the text, including 'help others', 'rich', and 'person'. While you attempt some less common expressions like 'international as well as international', inaccuracies in word form and collocation cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision, pay closer attention to word forms, and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and repetitive subordinate clauses. Attempts at more complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to noticeable grammatical errors. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'if a person help others he or she caught in a camera', 'they are many people', and missing plural forms like 'simple tasks' or 'basic need'. These frequent errors can cause difficulty and strain for the reader. To improve in this area, you should focus on mastering complex sentence patterns, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and thoroughly proofreading your work for basic grammatical slips.
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