Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's rapidly evolving world, social equality has become an indispensable part of humans' lives, alleviating poverty and social resentments, by enabling people to help others. A substantial number of individuals assert that it is a significant for affluent people to assist others. I partly agree with the above statement, my partial agreement is in the forthcoming paragraph.

To begin with, proponents emphasize that wealthy individuals constitute privilege and a vast amount of financial respurces, so they can facilitate essential prerequisites to others, particularly for disadvantaged communities. Consequently, they can uplift social mobility and promote equality, which can be an advantageous approach not only for impoverished people but also for authorities. To elaborate, if rich individuals help underprivileged people, they can dimish the significant burden of governments. This is because authorities are claimed that they are required to provide free education, medical facilities and public services. If these services are offered by affluent ones, authorities can save financia funds and allocate them to scientific advancements. As a consequence, this approach can enhance the social and economic progress of country.

However, despite the given argument, a majority of population argue that if is not imperative for wealthy ones to assist needy people because it is widely believed that it is a responsibility of policymakers and authorities. Due to the fact that if goverments offer an equal amount of occupational opportunities, medical facilities and public services to the population, then everyone can acquire the same amount of financial benefites. Therefore, the inhabitants of country can uplift their standards of living themeselves. For instance, According to a report by the organisation called WWO - the World Wide Organisation, which depicted that the ratio of happy and healthy individuals in India is more than 80%, so India comprise the highest position in the index of happiness across the world.

To conclude, although rich people should help destitutes and needy ones, they ough not to be claimed mandatory to assist. Hence, they should do it according to their desires and for the prosperity of nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether helping others is the most important aspect of being rich and presents a clear position throughout. Relevant ideas are introduced, such as how philanthropy by wealthy individuals can reduce the burden on governments and promote social equality, while the opposing view argues that welfare is the fundamental duty of authorities. However, some ideas remain under-developed or less fully explored. For instance, the discussion regarding government spending on scientific advancements lacks sufficient depth and supporting evidence. The counterargument relies on a generalised and somewhat vague example regarding India's happiness index, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band where all ideas would be fully extended and supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Information and ideas are grouped adequately into paragraphs, each with a recognizable focus. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'To begin with', 'Consequently', and 'To conclude'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, and referencing is not always clear, as seen in the phrase 'my partial agreement is in the forthcoming paragraph', which feels slightly unnatural. Additionally, paragraphing and transitional phrases occasionally lack smooth integration, reflecting the characteristics of the half band where strong organizational structure is present, but complete mastery of seamless cohesion is not yet fully achieved.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing sufficient range to convey the writer's arguments about wealth and social responsibility. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'indispensable', 'affluent', and 'underprivileged', demonstrating an awareness of appropriate academic style. However, these attempts are accompanied by some inaccuracy in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as writing 'a significant for affluent people' instead of 'significant', 'financial respurces' (spelling error), 'dimish' (spelling error), and 'financial benefites'. There are also minor collocational slips like 'occupational opportunities' instead of 'employment opportunities'. These errors do not impede communication, placing the response securely within this band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as conditional clauses and relative clauses. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation present throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues and article misuse, such as 'progress of country' instead of 'progress of a country', 'inhabitants of country', and 'if is not imperative'. Other structural slips include 'they ough not to be claimed mandatory' and awkward passive constructions. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the train of thought without major difficulty. This reflects a control of grammar where simple sentences are generally accurate, but complex structures still generate persistent errors.

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