Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The most vital thing about being wealthy is that one has the chance of helping other people. I largely agree to this statement because the rich people have sufficient income and they also have broaden heart to help people in need.

Wealthy people have uttermost amount of money as they have a multiple source of income. They are involve in various sectors, businesses through which they generate their wealth. So, they tend to give back some share of their money to the community as an aid. For example, Mr. Beast, a well-known youtuber and philanthropist spend a millions of dollar to help people who are deprived of basic facilities. Recently, he and his team dug off the well for the safe drinking water in various part of the Africa as he earns mostly through his youtube views and brand deals.

The other reason of rich people assisting the societies is because of their feeling of selfishness. The most riches people in the world have come from a very early struggle. So, they know the real problem and help to mitigate through a charity and social well-fairness. They fell utterly satisfied whenever they find opportunity to help needy people. For example, a small ordinary boy from India named Mukesh Ambani became one f the richest man in the world through lots of hardship . He is now actively present in supporting the communities to uplift their social well-being.

To conclude, the opportunity to assist others is the vital quality of being wealthy. I highly argue as the rich have a gigantic amount of wealth and properties and also a widen desire to support vulnerable people and the societies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position of agreement, stating that the most vital aspect of wealth is the opportunity to help others. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed, placing it within the mid-range of performance. While the writer attempts to support the argument with examples such as Mr. Beast and Mukesh Ambani, these points lack deep elaboration and sometimes contain factual confusion, such as misidentifying Mukesh Ambani's background and philanthropic motivations. The main ideas are presented, but some are repetitive, particularly in the conclusion where the argument is restated without adding fresh perspective. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support the main ideas with more accurate, detailed explanations and maintain a consistent focus throughout each body paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a recognizable overall structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, along with basic paragraphing. However, progression is sometimes hindered by awkward transitions and mechanical cohesive devices. For instance, phrases like 'The other reason of rich people assisting' and 'To conclude, the opportunity to assist others' feel somewhat repetitive and forced rather than naturally guiding the reader through a logical argument. Pronoun referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence where it is ambiguous who 'they' refers to across clauses. To improve in this area, the writer should focus on creating a smoother logical flow between sentences and employing a more varied, flexible range of cohesive devices without relying on repetitive formulas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing enough range to communicate the basic argument, though it is constrained by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form. Examples of lexical inaccuracies include 'broaden heart' instead of 'broad heart' or 'generous spirit', 'uttermost amount of money', 'multiple source' instead of 'multiple sources', and 'social well-fairness' instead of 'social welfare'. Additionally, there are word formation issues such as 'f the richest man'. These errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the precision of the writing. To achieve a stronger score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, pay closer attention to natural collocations, and use less common lexical items accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response employs a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on basic patterns with occasional attempts at complex sentences that tend to be faulty. Frequent errors in grammar are present throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement and prepositions, such as 'rich people have sufficient income and they also have broaden heart', 'They are involve in various sectors', 'spend a millions of dollar', and 'dug off the well'. Punctuation and article usage also show persistent inaccuracies, such as missing articles ('in various part of the Africa') and incorrect spacing. Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the writing from demonstrating good control. A higher band would require a greater variety of complex structures with improved accuracy across the majority of sentences.

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