Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, some people believe that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I partially agree with this view because it may help other people to become rich and allows needy people to fulfill their basic requirements but at the same time, rich people can also help in the overall development of a country and have opportunities to purchase luxury items.

Firstly, some individuals think that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others because they may help other people to become rich. If a rich person provides financial support to a hardworking student by paying their academic fees, the student is more likely to secure a better future by getting a high-salaried job, which in turn helps them to become rich. Secondly, this belief can help needy people to fulfill their basic needs. For example, a rich person can donate grains such as rice, wheat, and so on. Thus, it helps lower-salaried people to prevent from remaining hungry.

On the other hand, there are other important things of becoming rich such as helping in the overall development of the country. Rich people can construct industries and factories which can help to improve the economy of the country. Furthermore, wealthy people can also become capable of purchasing luxury vehicles such as a private jet, a yacht and so on. If a person has a lot of money, they are more likely to purchase these kinds of luxury vehicles to look rich.

In conclusion, I partially agree that the most important thing of being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others because it sometimes helps other people to become rich and fulfill the basic requirements of needy people. However, there are other important things such as contribution in the overall development of the country and encourage rich people to purchase luxury vehicles. I believe that there are other important things, but one of them is the opportunity to help others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether helping others is the most important aspect of being wealthy, presenting a partial agreement stance. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the first body paragraph argues that helping others allows them to become rich, but this point lacks sufficient depth or broader perspective. Furthermore, 45 words copied directly from the task prompt were not counted toward the minimum word limit. The position is stated in the introduction and conclusion, but the arguments remain rather basic, touching upon standard examples like donating grains or purchasing luxury vehicles without fully exploring the social or philosophical implications of wealth. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be more fully extended and supported with deeper analysis rather than listing repetitive points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a clear overall arrangement with logical paragraphing, where each body paragraph handles a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the progression between ideas can feel mechanical at times. The writer relies heavily on basic sequencing markers such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand', which can make the structure predictable rather than smoothly flowing. Referencing is generally clear, but some transitions lack sophistication. For example, moving from the benefits of helping students to donating food relies on simple additive transitions rather than cohesive devices that knit the concepts together tightly. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should use a wider variety of more subtle cohesive devices and ensure that paragraph transitions are more organic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common items such as 'financial support', 'overall development', and 'luxury vehicles'. However, there are noticeable limitations in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'fulfill their basic requirements' and 'things of becoming rich' are slightly unnatural, and the repetition of words like 'rich', 'help', and 'important' limits the lexical range. While these vocabulary choices do not impede communication, they lack the precision and variety expected at higher bands. To advance, the student should aim to use more sophisticated phrasing, natural collocations, and precise synonyms to avoid repetitive language throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses ('If a rich person provides...') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Issues appear in prepositions, such as 'contribution in the overall development' instead of 'contribution to', and awkward phrasing patterns like 'prevent from remaining hungry'. There are also instances of awkward article usage and minor subject-verb agreement slips. While the sentences are generally understandable, the control over complex structures is inconsistent, leading to recurring errors. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to enhance grammatical accuracy across a wider variety of complex sentence patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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