Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often argued that, primary benefit of possessing great wealth is the ability to assist those in need. While philanthropic contributions undoubtedly play a crucial role in improving society, I disagree with the view that heliping others in the single most important aspects of wealth. As personal financial security and individuals freedom are equally, if not more fundamental.

On the one hand, accumulated wealth provides an unpredictable opportunity to create meaningful societal impact. High-net-worth individuals have the resourses to fund large scale in charitable initiatives, contrust infrastructure, and support medical reasurch , all of which address systemic issues that governments also struggle to resolve the problems. For instance, global foundations established by billionaires have contributed significantly to eradiacte disease and supporting education every corner of the globe. From an ethical standpoint, using financial power to uplift underprivilaged communities is one of the most fullfilling and impactful outcomes accumulating wealth.

On the other hand, the primary reason people want to build wealth is to protect themselves and their families. Money provides safety against unexpected emergencies, pays for good healthcare, and ensure a comfortable life. Additionally, financial independence gives people freedom tyo choose how they live, whether that meansstarting business or following personal passions, without first securing one's financial stability, it would be difficult to help others in a continous way.

In conclusion, while using money to help others is wonderful benefits to being rich, I do not believe it is the most important one. The main value of wealth is still to provide safety, freedom and well-being for oneself and one's family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the essay. The student successfully evaluates the prompt by arguing that personal security and freedom are more fundamental than altruism. Main ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of global foundations established by billionaires and the need for financial stability to face unexpected emergencies. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in parts of the body paragraphs, and some arguments could be explored with greater depth to push into higher levels. Overall, the treatment of the prompt is well-developed and demonstrates a clear understanding of the academic requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, moving smoothly from the introduction to the societal benefits of wealth, followed by personal motivations, and finally a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect ideas, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', although referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to structure the debate, ensuring the reader can easily follow the writer's line of reasoning from start to finish.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The vocabulary used provides an adequate range for the task, allowing the writer to communicate ideas clearly and effectively. There are successful attempts to use less-common lexical items, such as 'philanthropic contributions', 'high-net-worth individuals', and 'financial independence'. However, there are several spelling and word-choice errors that prevent a higher evaluation, including 'heliping' instead of helping, 'contrust' instead of construct, 'reasurch' instead of research, 'eradiacte' instead of eradicate, and 'underprivilaged' instead of underprivileged. These slips show an adequate control of vocabulary and spelling, but lack the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct compound and subordinate clauses, as seen in conditional and relative structures like 'whether that means starting a business or following personal passions'. There are, however, a number of grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text. Examples include punctuation issues like 'primary benefit of possessing great wealth is', missing articles such as 'in the single most important aspect', and prepositions or agreement errors like 'outcomes accumulating wealth' and 'without first securing one's financial stability, it would be difficult'. These errors are noticeable but they rarely impede communication, reflecting a moderate level of grammatical control.

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