Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argue that few individuals believed that the most essential things about being a wealthy has the oppurtunity to help others. I believed that I agree of that situation because they can afford to help individuals specially to those individuals who are improverished. However, in detrimental side affluent people need to limitations to help others because some individual are relying in donations instead to strived hard.

I firmly believed that agree affluent individual has oppurtunity to help others because they have a lot of money to share. One main reason is that it has a lot of individuals who are lack of finanacial this is because of the lack of job opputunity, lack of financial, and lack of strategy. For example, individual in squatter are relying on goverment or donations instead of working on there own as a result they cannot rich there goals or achieved because of relying on others.

On the other hand, I think that there is a detrimental side. One major reason is that some indiviuals are more unemployed because they feel that there is a lot of rich people give donations such as money, shelter, and food. This is because they feel they can benefit staying at home rather than working on there own, for instance in Tondo Manila there is a various houselees people are more likely give donations into affluent individual that's why they rely on others.

In conclusion, I believed both situations experienced beneficial and detrimental side, affluent people should have a limitations to help so that some people well not rely on them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the extent to which helping others is the most important aspect of being wealthy, presenting a clear personal position throughout. However, the development of ideas is limited. While the writer attempts to explain why wealth allows for philanthropy and introduces a counter-argument regarding dependency, these supporting points are underdeveloped and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on squatter areas and Manila relies heavily on general assertions rather than fully elaborated examples. To move to a higher band, the response needs to extend ideas with deeper explanations and more specific, fully realized supporting details rather than cycling through similar points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation in the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and the writer attempts to use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'One main reason', and 'In conclusion'. Nevertheless, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the flow is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. Paragraphing is attempted, but the logical links between sentences within paragraphs are sometimes faulty, such as in the abrupt shifts between financial lack and government donations. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact argumentative trajectory. To improve, the writer needs to ensure smoother logical progression and more accurate, varied use of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable lexical errors and issues with word formation, collocation, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'oppurtunity', 'improperished', 'finanacial', 'rich' instead of 'reach', and 'houselees'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, like 'affluent', but struggles with accurate control over word forms and appropriate usage in context. To achieve a higher band, the vocabulary needs greater variety, precision, and accuracy, alongside correct spelling and word formation throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, with attempts at complex sentences often resulting in faulty grammar and awkward phrasing. Frequent errors are present across basic and complex structures, including issues with subject-verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and prepositions, such as 'It is argue that', 'wealthy has the oppurtunity', 'depend on donations instead to strived hard', and 'people well not rely on them'. These frequent errors can cause difficulty and strain for the reader. To progress to a higher band, the writer must demonstrate better control over a wider variety of grammatical structures and significantly reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors.

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