Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people say that the most important thing about being a rich is tha we have opportunity to help other peoples. I agree with this statement.

Helping other people is a good habit. Rich people have enough money to helping poor people. They give money to poor families for buying food, clotheses, and many other things. For example, In some of the ruler ares people have no opportunity to job.They do not have mutch opportunity as like a urban areas. So rich people should help them that he make their life easy. Helping people is very important for our socitey.

In the other side. Some areas every year the people of these area face the flood. Their houses and the shop everthings destroy in flood. For example in the pakistan last year the area which name is kalam.people of the kalam do not have money to buy anything like food clothes and the mediciane. So The rich people help them to survive their.

Rich people have many opportunity. For example They can travel in diffirent countries and buy anything they want. They spend a good life. And they should they helped the poor people and they spend life easliy.

In the last. Helping other people is a good opportunity because all of the religion teach us.Help those people you saw in the trouble.

Helping other people is a good habit for our socitey and the country. When you help other people god gave you the much more money. So i totally agree with this statement being a rich is a good opportunity to help others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt regarding whether the primary benefit of wealth is the opportunity to help others, and a clear personal position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the writer mentions that rich people can buy food and clothes for poor families, but this point is not extended with specific explanations or deep analysis. Similarly, the example of floods in Pakistan is relevant but lacks sufficient elaboration to fully support the argument. The ideas tend to be repetitive, particularly when reiterating that helping people is a good habit. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to expand on examples with greater depth, explore counter-arguments, and present fully elaborated supporting points rather than brief assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates some basic organisation, with an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an attempt to structure the writing. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are used rather simplistically and repetitively, with sentences often beginning with 'For example' or 'So' without smooth transitional phrasing. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph breaks do not always align with logical shifts in topic, such as the sudden transition into personal travel habits in the fourth paragraph. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should employ a wider variety of cohesive markers, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic, and build logical bridges between sentences to guide the reader seamlessly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with frequent lexical and spelling errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The writer relies heavily on basic, repetitive terms such as 'rich people', 'poor people', 'help', and 'good habit'. There are numerous word form and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'a rich' instead of 'the rich', 'other peoples', 'helping' instead of 'help', 'clotheses', 'ruler ares' for rural areas, 'mutch', 'socitey', 'mediciane', and 'diffirent'. To progress to a higher band, the student must expand their lexical repertoire beyond basic terms, demonstrate better control over word forms and collocations, and eliminate recurrent spelling errors by proofreading their work carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and straightforward sentence structures. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in grammar, article use, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement that can cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of grammatical errors include 'tha we have opportunity', 'in some of the ruler ares people have no opportunity to job', 'every year the people of these area face the flood', 'Their houses and the shop everthings destroy', and 'god gave you the much more money'. Punctuation is also problematic, with improper full stops splitting connected clauses. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with accurate subordination, improve control over verb tenses and articles, and reduce basic grammatical inaccuracies.

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