Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some people believe that the most significant benefit of being wealthy is having the opportunity to help others. I completely disagree with this statement because wealth can provide many other important benefits, such as a comfortable lifestyle, better education, and financial security. People from all backgrounds can help those in need and contribute positively to society.

Overall, the major benefit of being rich is autonomy, wealthy people have freedom to direct their own life, make decisions, and act without being controlled by anyone. Things that are crucial for them are their luxuries, and safety. However they are not only who can help others in need.

According to my understandings, and level of intelligence, everyone from any background, religion, and cast can help people in many ways. For instance, In rural areas of bahawalpur, nawabs are famous for their wealth. In addition, they are also well-known for the people of their villages. They took all responsibilities for marriage expense of duaghters of their towns. Furthermore, they support their locals businesses, and run households of less fortunates. Moreover, everyone can help people in need in various ways such as: you can purchase books for childerns, and pay school fee of someone who cannot afford to pay. Or donate a meal to somebody who is hungry.

I believe that individuals should have the courage and willingness to help others. I agree that money is important in this situation because financial support can make a significant difference. However, people do not need to be rich to help others, as even a small amount of money or a simple act of kindness can support someone in need.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear position against the prompt and presenting relevant arguments. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. The introduction outlines your stance and mentions alternative benefits like a comfortable lifestyle, but the body paragraphs focus predominantly on the idea that anyone can help others regardless of wealth. For example, the specific instance of the nawabs in Bahawalpur is relevant and extended, yet other points remain somewhat general. To reach a higher level, you need to ensure that all main ideas receive equal depth of development, fully exploring how other primary benefits of wealth outweigh altruism as its most significant feature.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. You rely on standard cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'Moreover', but referencing is not always clear, and paragraphing could be managed more effectively—for instance, the second paragraph is very brief and abrupt. Additionally, sentence-to-sentence transitions occasionally disrupt the smooth progression of ideas. To improve, you should aim for a more natural integration of cohesive links and ensure each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one without sudden shifts in focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, successfully communicating your meaning. You attempt some less-common vocabulary, such as 'autonomy', 'altruism', and 'financial security', but there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and word form. For instance, phrases like 'less fortunates' contain errors in pluralisation and form, and there are mechanical slips such as 'duaghters' and 'childerns'. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they restrict your score. To move up to a higher band, you need to use a wider and more flexible range of vocabulary with greater precision, paying closer attention to word formation, collocations, and correct spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as comma splices ('However they are not only who can help others in need') and minor issues with articles and prepositions. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication. To achieve a higher score, you should increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences and refine your punctuation control, ensuring that subordinate clauses and introductory phrases are punctuated accurately and that sentence boundaries are strictly maintained.

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