Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many argue that the most essential aspect of being rich is that a person gets to serve others. I totally agree with this view because with money an individual can help people belonging to disadvantaged backgrounds. Financial stable person can also construct buildings and sectors which open more job opportunities for others.

First and foremost, a wealthy person can help poor people by providing them services which they cannot afford. The primary reason is that nowadays inflation is rising to its peak and financial instability have built hurdles for poor socio-economic backgrounds to afford basic necessities such as, healthcare, education and food. As a consequence, with financial help these disadvantaged people can achieve stability and growth in their life. For instance, in the United kingdom a lot of charities are being funded by rich people to help those who want to study for higher education.

Secondly, a rich person can build various offices and organisations that can boost local economy. This is due to fact that there are not enough jobs in the market and that creates poverty and unemployment in the society. A rich individual can open opportunities for others by building local offices and job sectors to attract local people. As a result, the public can enroll in these jobs and can grow and flourish. For example, many wealthy business owners have opened subsidies in the market to increase the workforce and create more employement for local people.

In conclusion, I completely agree with the stance that a wealthy person can be helpful for others because they can financially help people with low backgrounds to fulfil their basic needs. Apart from this, they can also bring more employement which can make life easier for people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear, consistent position throughout that the most important thing about being rich is helping others. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of charities in the United Kingdom funding higher education. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in the development, which keeps the response at this level. For instance, the claim that wealthy individuals can build offices to universally boost local economies and solve unemployment is a broad argument that is not fully substantiated with deep contextual detail. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need more rigorous, nuanced elaboration without relying on generalized assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay presents a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, starting with an introduction of the stance, moving through two body paragraphs exploring basic necessities and economic boosting, and ending with a clear conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well to guide the reader through the text, as seen with phrases like 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and paragraph transitions occasionally feel somewhat mechanical rather than entirely fluid. To achieve a more advanced level of cohesion, the writer could employ more sophisticated referencing and smoother lexical ties between sentences to ensure the progression of ideas feels completely natural and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating a sufficient range to communicate ideas with some flexibility. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items such as 'disadvantaged backgrounds', 'inflation', and 'socio-economic', which shows an awareness of style. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation inaccuracies that prevent a higher evaluation. Examples include 'Financial stable person' instead of 'Financially stable person', 'open subsidies' instead of 'subsidiaries' or another business structure, and 'employement' which contains a spelling error. While these errors do not impede communication, they reflect the limitations of the current vocabulary tier, where greater precision and control over less common lexical items are required.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct compound and subordinate clauses such as 'The primary reason is that nowadays inflation is rising...' Grammar and punctuation are handled with moderate success, but several persistent errors occur. For example, there are agreement and article issues in phrases like 'people belonging to disadvantaged backgrounds' (missing plural or article contexts) and 'financial instability have built hurdles' where the plural verb does not match the singular subject 'instability'. Punctuation is also slightly flawed, such as the unnecessary comma after 'such as,' in the first body paragraph. These errors rarely impede communication, but their frequency prevents the sentence structures from being considered consistently error-free.

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