Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I think being a rich person does not mean you have to help others and it is important to help people . When a person becomes rich It's just not about the money It's about you mentality , nature towards others . If a rich person is helping others . He/She really owns it , They really deserve their money . Sometimes people who are rich do not help others and It's totally up to them It shows what kind of nature or mentality they own , But in today's gen people who are poor have no respect in their societies or cities but some of them do have by the people who are really roich , not just rich by their wealth but with their rich heart.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the task only minimally, as it is severely under length. The length requirement is not met, containing only 128 words against the required 250-word minimum. The student attempts to discuss whether being rich means having the opportunity to help others, expressing a view that helping others is a personal choice rather than an obligation. However, the position is only partially articulated and the ideas remain extremely limited and underdeveloped. There is a lack of supported arguments or extended examples, which restricts the depth of the response. To reach a higher level, the writer must expand the response to meet the minimum word count, introduce fully developed main ideas, and support arguments with relevant explanations and examples throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The information and ideas are not arranged coherently into a proper essay structure. The response consists of a single, run-on paragraph that lacks clear overall progression or paragraphing. Cohesive devices are either missing or repetitive and faulty, such as the frequent use of comma splices and the disjointed transition 'But in today's gen'. Referencing is also unclear in places, making the flow difficult to follow for the reader. To improve in this criterion, the writer needs to divide the response into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, while employing a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic thoughts, containing noticeable errors that cause some difficulty for the reader. The writer demonstrates a basic range of words related to wealth and mentality, such as 'rich person', 'money', and 'mentality', but attempts at less common vocabulary lead to awkward word choices and spelling errors, such as 'roich' instead of rich. Repetition of words like 'rich', 'help', and 'nature' is also evident. To achieve a higher score, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of less common lexical items, ensure greater accuracy in word choice and spelling, and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentence forms, while attempts at more complex structures are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and sentence boundaries, such as extensive use of comma splices (e.g., 'When a person becomes rich It's just not about the money It's about you mentality') and incorrect capitalization and pronoun usage like 'you mentality' instead of 'your mentality'. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with good control, eliminate punctuation errors, and ensure correct grammatical agreement and pronoun forms.

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