Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Being wealthy is an issue that has attracted considerable attention in recent years, with different views emerging about its importance and impact. In this essay, I will discuss the main arguments surrounding the view that gathering a lot of money is a chance that can help you to support others and explain why I strongly agree with this statement.

One major reason for my position is that the rich people have enough capital to invest in any thing they want especially education. This is mainly because learning is the key to enhance the finance skill. For example, people with sufficient budget can study business in a prestigious university. As a result, they will graduate with a mentality of investing in education so the universities will be able to accept more students and businessmen may pay the tution for several students like many of business owners do around the world to help people to get their college dergree and landing their dream job. Moreover, richest people mmay also establish their own schools as charity, which can also contribute in offering traditional and online courses for poor students in main cities and rural areas. Therefore, these points strongly support my position.

Another key reason for my position is that being rich is also make many businessmen globally make donations for healthcare sector. For instance, pay medicine cost for poor patients. This can lead to helthier communities. Furthermore, they can also contribute in building new hospitals, which may help the society to get the required medication. Admittedly, some people argue that wealth can make greedy people; however, this is rarely in most countries around the world. Consequently, these points further support my [agreement / disagreement] with the statement.

In conclusion, being rich is an issue that should be carefully considered. Overall, I strongly agree with the statement because wealthy people can support education and healthcare sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position throughout, which demonstrates strong agreement with the idea that the primary benefit of being rich is the opportunity to help others. The main ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly regarding education and healthcare investments, such as 'learning is the key to enhance the finance skill' and businessmen making donations for the healthcare sector. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, the discussion around establishing charity schools and the counterargument concerning greediness are somewhat brief and lack deeper elaboration. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend these supporting points with more specific examples or broader ramifications to ensure an equally thorough development across all paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical organization and progression throughout. The introduction successfully outlines the writer's stance, and each body paragraph is demarcated with clear transitional markers like 'One major reason for my position' and 'Another key reason for my position'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to group related ideas. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, as seen in minor awkward transitions and an unresolved bracketed placeholder '[agreement / disagreement]' in the third paragraph. To improve further, the writer should ensure that cohesive devices are used more flexibly and fluidly rather than relying on repetitive formulaic topic sentence openings.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items such as 'prestigious university', 'healthcare sector', and 'communities'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as 'enhance the finance skill' instead of 'financial skills', 'richest people mmay' with a typo, 'pay medicine cost' instead of 'cover the cost of medicine', and 'landing their dream job'. While these lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, they reflect a limited precision. Incorporating more natural collocations and precise academic terminology would elevate the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising structures such as relative clauses and conditional-like causal statements. There are some errors in grammar, articles, and preposition use throughout the text, including 'the rich people have' with an unnecessary article, 'invest in any thing' written as two words, 'is also make many businessmen' which contains a tense and verb form error, and 'this is rarely in most countries'. These errors rarely impede communication, reflecting a control level where simple sentences are generally accurate while attempts at more complex patterns introduce occasional flaws. To achieve a higher band, the writer must produce a greater frequency of error-free complex sentences and refine punctuation and article usage.

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