Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In todays life people work so hard to become a rich the craze of becoming rich is increasing day by day different people have a different perspective of being a rich some people have the opinion that the most important thing about being rich is that you got the opportunity to help other.

In present life becoming a rich became the most important thing of our society because many people believe that rich person get the most opportunities which is true at some point.The people who have this perspective also say that the one best thing of being a rich is that you got the opportunity of help others because there are also needy people in our society who could not even afford one meal and there are also people who have no place to live the other major problem that people face is a loan problem but one rich person could solve the problem he has the opportunity to make the world better place to live while there are kind people who want to help other but they are not that much financialy good but a financialy good person can feed people and could do help in a different way.so therefore these people say that this is the best thing of being rich that you can help other and i also think the same way.

In my opinion i agree with these people because from my experience i have seen that rich people could help the other easily while there are people who want to help other but they did not get the oportunity so no doubt that the most important thing of being a rich is that you has the opportunity to help others,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear opinion in favour of the statement, especially in “I also think the same way” and the final paragraph, and you explain how wealth can help people facing hunger, homelessness and debt. These examples are relevant and show an understanding of the topic. However, the response addresses the question only partially because it largely repeats the claim that helping others is the main benefit of being rich, rather than examining how important this is compared with other benefits or acknowledging a different view. The examples are listed but not developed with specific explanation. To strengthen the response, state your position precisely in the introduction and develop two distinct reasons, explaining why helping others outweighs other advantages of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable beginning, supporting section and concluding opinion, so the reader can follow its general direction. However, progression between ideas is limited: the second paragraph combines poverty, housing, loans and the ability to improve society in one long sequence, without clear separation or development. Linking phrases such as “because,” “while” and “so therefore” are repeated or used mechanically, and the final paragraph mostly restates the earlier position. Some references, including “these people,” are not always precise. Organise the essay into clearer paragraphs, each with one main point, and use linking expressions to show the relationship between ideas rather than simply joining them. A more developed conclusion could summarise the reasoning instead of repeating the claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the central ideas, including “needy people,” “afford one meal,” “place to live” and “financially good.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “rich,” “opportunity,” “help” and “people.” Some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “become a rich,” “the craze of becoming rich” and “financially good,” which reduce precision. Spelling errors such as “todays,” “financialy” and “oportunity” are also noticeable. Build a more varied set of accurate phrases for discussing wealth and social support, and check spelling and word forms. For example, use “wealthy individuals” and “provide assistance” where appropriate, while avoiding overly informal or imprecise wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express connected and complex ideas, but sentence structures are often poorly controlled, and errors frequently make the writing harder to read. For example, the opening is a run-on sentence, while “a rich person get” has subject–verb disagreement and “you has the opportunity” uses the wrong verb form. Articles and plurals are also problematic in phrases such as “become a rich” and “help other.” Punctuation is often missing, especially around sentence boundaries, so several ideas run together. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, plural nouns and sentence-ending punctuation during revision; these changes would make your meaning much clearer.

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