Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, people want to become rich to live a luxury lifestyle, While many people believe that the most crucial thing of being rich is that individual has the occasion to assist others. Although being rich can provide lavish lifestyle and bright future for children, i opine that i partially agree with this statement because helping others provide peace and satisfaction.

On the one hand, the major benefit of being rich is a better lifestyle. To elaborate, nowadays every individual want to live in a designer and secure home along with great amenities. Because being rich facilitate luxury life, people will enjoy it. For example, a rich person can buy secure and well developed house and car for his/her family to provide them a better life. Apart from this, richness will provide opportunity for the children to have best education. In current time most of the reputed education insititutes have high fees of courses compred to other average insititutes. Therefore, it is on of the most important thing of being rich.

On the other hand, there are several reasons of having opportunity to help other is the most essential of being rich. The first and foremost one is it provides peace and calmness. To unfold it, the most important thing for a human to live not only stress-free but also happy life, which often comes from when one help others. For example, a rich person can help poor students to receive education by paying there fee or helping them to buy books. Since, poor children will not only bless him but also watching others happy due to ourselves provide peace and calmness to inner-self. In addition, helping other feels satisfaction also along with peace. Because having satisfaction in what the person is doing reflects directly on mental wellness. To be more precise, if person is not satisfied with the work, will face mental problems such as anxiety. Meanwhile, helping other always gives a satisfactory feeling, which can lower the risk of mental problem.

In conclusion, despite having opportunity to help other is one of the most important thing of being rich, i restate that i partially agree with this statement because having a better lifestyle and provide quality education to children is another crucial thing about being rich.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree, valuing both the chance to help others and the benefits of wealth for family life. You address both sides and support them with relevant examples, such as funding poor students’ education and providing children with better schooling. This meets the task well. However, the discussion is uneven: the benefits of a luxury lifestyle and education are listed, but the essay does not fully explain how these compare with helping others when deciding what is “most important.” The claim that helping others brings peace and satisfaction is developed more fully, though some reasoning is broad. To strengthen the response, define your basis for ranking these benefits and explain more directly why your position is partial rather than simply presenting two advantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from personal benefits to helping others is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the argument. This gives the response a coherent arrangement. At times, however, linking is mechanical or unclear. For example, “Because being rich facilitate luxury life, people will enjoy it” repeats the preceding point rather than advancing it, while “Since, poor children will not only bless him but also watching others happy…” is difficult to follow. Improve cohesion by making references explicit, varying transitions, and ensuring each sentence develops the paragraph’s main idea rather than restating it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “lavish lifestyle,” “reputed education institutes,” “mental wellness,” and “satisfaction,” and your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “inner-self” and “stress-free.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “the occasion to assist others” should express an opportunity, and “richness” is less natural than “wealth.” Spelling errors such as “insititutes,” “compred,” and “there fee” also detract from control. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than ornate phrasing, and proofread spelling. More precise vocabulary would help you express comparisons and explain the value of helping others more convincingly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because,” and “which,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “every individual want” needs subject–verb agreement, and “helping others provide peace” needs a singular verb. The sentence beginning “To unfold it, the most important thing for a human…” is incomplete or awkwardly constructed, while “if person is not satisfied with the work, will face…” omits necessary subjects and articles. Capitalisation of “i” and punctuation around sentence openings also need attention. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then review agreement and articles.

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