Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people believe that the most important fact about being rich is that you have the opportunity to help other by your money.i strongly disagree with this point because being rich helps you to facilitates your family needs,dreams, and education.

First of all, being rich and helping others are two different things. I have seen many people how dont have much money but they still helps poor and needy.While if someone is financilly strong, the most important thing is that he has great opportunity to fullfil the needs of his family, provide them good education etc. By being financilly stable someone can provide good education to their children as he can afford the fees and other expenses of their academic institutes.

Furthermore,rich people can help other poor families by providing them food and other things of daily use.They can also give donation to those people who are effected by natural diseaster.

On the other hand, having enough money also help you to fullfil your "wants'' not only ''needs''. So you can travel the world, explore different countries,traditions and culture that is the dream of others.Also someone can affort the luxury life, dream home and cars.They can spend on thier wishes and hobbies.For example, if someone is found os having different cars, he can only soend if he has money or good income.

In conclusion,i belive that by being rich, helping others is not an only important opportunity that one have,despite that you can also fullfil your dreams, have a dream home and car, spend on your children's education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that helping others is the most important benefit of wealth, and you give relevant alternatives, including meeting family needs, funding children’s education, and fulfilling personal ambitions. You also acknowledge that wealthy people can donate food or support disaster-affected communities, which helps address the topic. However, the argument is only partly developed. The claim that family provision is more important is asserted rather than weighed against helping others, and the examples about travel, cars, and a dream home are listed without explaining their significance. To strengthen the response, explain why your priorities matter more and develop fewer examples with clearer reasoning. The conclusion restates your view but could summarise the central comparison more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs signalled by “First of all,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify shifts between family responsibilities, charitable giving, and personal wants. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the paragraph beginning “Furthermore” supports helping others, which complicates the preceding argument without explaining how the ideas relate. Several points are also presented as lists, and the example about owning different cars does not clearly advance the main argument. Some linking is mechanical, while punctuation and spacing make transitions harder to follow. Group related ideas more deliberately, use clear topic sentences, and explain how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “financially stable,” “academic institutes,” “donation,” “natural disaster,” and “luxury life.” There is some repetition of basic terms such as “rich,” “money,” “help,” and “dream,” and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make the writing less clear, for example “fullfil,” “effected by natural diseaster,” and “affort.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “the most important fact” and “found of having different cars.” This fits a limited but minimally adequate range: the reader can generally understand your meaning, but errors and repetition are noticeable. Build a more precise set of expressions for wealth, family provision, charitable support, and personal goals, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if someone is financially strong” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “being rich helps you to facilitates” combines incompatible verb forms, while “many people … still helps” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening also runs two sentences together after “money,” and the final sentence contains an unclear structure: “helping others is not an only important opportunity that one have.” Practise accurate verb patterns, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Aim to make each sentence express one complete, clearly structured idea before adding more complex clauses.

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