Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that most essential habit is to help others people if a person is rich. Off course I am agree with this statement because in our societies mostly people have no any job or earning opportunities because helping others produce humanity in society. Below I will explain some reasons and examples that support my idea.

First of all, In every community all over the world some people always blessed with good wealth and in that society mostly people are poor so, these wealthy people need to help other society members if they have no enough belongings. For example, in our countries mostly societies have several families who are not afford their home rent so, rich individuals need to pay their home rents and create a example for other wealthy people.

Secondly, present era is modern and also fills with artificial intelligence and now AI creates many facilities for companies for example, In past companies needed some employers for their software works and also for some other computer responsibilities so, now all these works are done by artificial intelligence. As a result mostly educated people are unemployed. So, wealthy people need to hire graduated people for their work and also pay fairly salary.

Thirdly, helping poor societies help to improve the countries economies and also its poverty because when wealthy people start helping other people then poverty and propagandas from poor individuals start ending. For example, I living in Pakistan and this country is under develop and some political parties are against the Pakistan and creates propaganda on poverty and also on country economic health. so helping these poor societies make country economical strong.

To sum up, it is very essential to help other because it creates many good effects on country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that wealth brings an important opportunity and responsibility to help others. The response addresses the topic with relevant examples, including paying rent for families and employing graduates affected by AI. These examples show an effort to explain how assistance can benefit individuals and society. However, the task asks what is most important about being rich, and the essay focuses mainly on why wealthy people should help, without exploring whether this is more important than other benefits of wealth. The point about political propaganda and the economy is also unclear and less fully connected to your argument. Develop each example by explaining its impact and make the extent of your agreement more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, three body paragraphs signposted by “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “Thirdly,” and a concluding summary. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. However, some connections between ideas are mechanical or unclear. For instance, the move from AI replacing company workers to wealthy people hiring graduates needs a clearer explanation, and the final body paragraph shifts from reducing poverty to political propaganda without showing the link. Referencing is also sometimes imprecise, as in “these poor societies.” Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one central point rather than adding loosely connected ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “wealthy,” “unemployed,” “artificial intelligence,” and “poverty,” and these choices help communicate your main ideas. However, the range and control are limited, with repeated general words such as “help,” “people,” and “society.” Several word combinations are unnatural or unclear, including “most essential habit,” “create a example,” “country economical strong,” and “propagandas from poor individuals.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to interpret. Build a more precise range for discussing charitable support, employment, and economic effects, and check collocations and word forms when editing. The vocabulary is relevant, but greater accuracy and variety are needed for clearer expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, using clauses with “because,” “so,” and “when,” as well as examples introduced with “for example.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. Examples include “I am agree,” “people are not afford,” and “I living in Pakistan”; these require correct verb forms. There are also issues with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, such as “create a example” and the long sentence beginning “In past companies needed.” Try to produce a wider range of accurate sentences, especially when explaining cause and effect. Careful proofreading for verb forms, articles, and punctuation would make your argument easier to read.

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