Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary world, a significant people suffer from poor across over a globe.Few people consider that the most crucial thing about being wealthy is that one has privilege to assist others. I largely agree with this statement because they can generate more employment and faciliate impoverished people to mitigate with issue.

To begin with , Affluent people should create opportunities for deprived individuals . To explain , wealthy community ought to establish more businesses. So, they require more labour for work in organisation and they should appoint needy people first . Rich people should pay fairly to them so that they can purchase basic necessary things for survival . Moreover, if poor people get sufficient compensation and they get capable to send their children to schools for better lifestyles. As a result, These minor help to them for enhance their quality of life .

Furthermore, Rich people should assist to poor children in education . To elaborate, well -known rich persons should fund in education system . students who not afford expenses of eduction but they have determination in study . If wealthy people invest in education , students can study freely without any pressure of fee. Additionally, they should help to those children who have talent or skill to open a business . They should help them in start a small business which enables to them become independent . Consequently, These funds in education lead to get a reasonable jobs that help to elevate their standard of living.

In conclusion, Being rich has much capabilty to improve lifestyle of impoverished people . i agree with statement because they can generate employment and help in education which lead to improve a condition of poor people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you largely agree that wealth is valuable when used to help others. Both body paragraphs give relevant ways to do this—creating jobs and supporting education—and you explain some benefits, such as enabling families to meet basic needs and helping students become independent. This addresses the task well. However, the development is uneven: the employment paragraph explains fair pay and family welfare, while the education paragraph moves between funding schools and helping talented children start businesses without fully explaining how these forms of support would work. To strengthen the response, develop each main idea with a specific example and explain more directly why helping others is the most important aspect of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from employment support to education is logical, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. Some linking is mechanical, however, with repeated “To explain,” “Moreover,” and “As a result,” and several sentences do not connect smoothly to the point before them. For example, the shift from funding education to helping children open businesses needs a clearer explanation of how these ideas relate. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as in “These minor help.” Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each example and its main claim explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “impoverished,” “compensation,” “determination,” and “independent,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make ideas difficult to interpret. Examples include “suffer from poor,” “mitigate with issue,” “fund in education system,” and “reasonable jobs”; these are not natural combinations in English. There are also spelling errors such as “faciliate,” “eduction,” and “capabilty.” Build a more reliable range by learning common phrases as complete units—for example, “suffer from poverty,” “invest in education,” and “secure well-paid employment”—and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including purpose and result clauses such as “so that they can purchase basic necessary things” and “which enables to them become independent.” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but control is inconsistent: complex constructions are often faulty, and errors recur in articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. For instance, “if poor people get sufficient compensation and they get capable” lacks a complete, correctly formed main clause, while “students who not afford expenses” is missing an auxiliary verb. Capitalisation and punctuation also need attention, as in “These” after a comma and the lowercase “i” in the conclusion. Practise accurate clause construction and review each sentence for a complete subject–verb structure.

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