Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays money plays an important role in our lives. some people believes that the main benefit of being rich having the opportunity to help others. I completely agree with this opinion because rich people can support poor families and improve society.

First of all rich people can help poor families by providing food, clothes and education. Many people cannot afford their basic needs because of financial problems. Wealthy people can donate money to charities and support poor children. for example they can pay school fees for children who cannot afford a good education. This can help them build a better future. Secondly rich people can support hospitals and provide medical help to need people. many patients cannot afford expensive medicines and treatment. Wealthy individuals can donate money to hospitals and provide free medicines to poor patients. Moreover they can build schools and hospitals in villages where these facilities are not available. In this way they can make society a better place to live.

On the other hand, money also help people enjoys a comfortable life and achieve their personal goals. Rich people can buy a good house, travel to different countries, and provide a better life for their families. However I believe that helping others is one of the best ways to use money.

In conclusion I strongly agree that being rich provide a great opportunity to help others. Although money offers comfort and security using it to support needy people can bring happiness and improve society than i agree this thoughts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I completely agree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the central claim with relevant examples, including donations for food, education and medical care, and explain how these can improve people’s futures and society. The paragraph acknowledging personal comfort also shows awareness of another benefit of wealth while keeping your main view clear. This is a solid response to the task, but development is uneven: the examples of school fees and hospital support are explained, whereas the claim that helping others brings happiness is asserted rather than supported. To strengthen the response, explain more fully why helping others is the most important benefit, rather than simply one valuable use of money.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a main paragraph about helping others, a contrasting paragraph about personal benefits, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” make the progression easy to follow. However, the first body paragraph contains several separate examples in one block, so the relationship between them can feel list-like. Some links are also mechanical, and the final sentence becomes difficult to follow at “than i agree this thoughts,” weakening the conclusion’s cohesion. Group related examples and use clearer links to show how each supports your central argument. A more precise concluding sentence would help the essay finish with the same clarity as its opening.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your ideas, including “charities,” “basic needs,” “medical help,” “treatment,” and “facilities.” These terms suit the discussion, and phrases such as “build a better future” convey the intended benefit clearly. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “need people,” “a good education,” and “make society a better place to live.” Repetition of “rich people,” “help,” and “money” also reduces flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary how you refer to wealthy people and those receiving support. The phrase “than i agree this thoughts” is especially unclear, so revise it to express your intended comparison directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, including the conditional idea “because of financial problems” and the relative clause “children who cannot afford a good education.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. Examples include “some people believes,” “money also help people enjoys,” and “being rich provide”; these need forms such as “people believe,” “money also helps people enjoy,” and “being rich provides.” The opening also lacks a verb in “the main benefit of being rich having.” Check subject–verb agreement and ensure each sentence has a complete, correctly formed clause. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to read.

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