Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Fewer believe that being rich is not about good financial status or owning assests.It is about the get the appropriate opportunity to help others when they are in need.

I will completely agree with the given statement.

Firstly many people are completely occupied in their work life they don't have tend to work for others or spend time to help others.But helping the others are serving to god in their needs.They are several humans they to interested in help others in order to get rid of the problem.For example in hospital the duty of nurse is to help the patients with their appropriate medicine as per the schedule this will give the patients to get out the problem and fell them comfort.

On the other hand there several advantages of being helping others such as several political leaders provide free education for the economical background students in order to complete the studies and get the employment for the good survival.This leader will be forever in the heart of the students and they get blessings from them these kind of helping nature will give the self satisfaction for the mind, although helping the people in the right time can be the solution for problem rather than being helplessness.

For instance,In old age homes there sre several volunteers will take of the people and build the strong emotions with them this will enchance the for being rich other that expecting something grom them in the form of remuneration.

However i strongly believe that bring rich is help to others not being economically rich and to social status.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: “I will completely agree,” and the conclusion repeats your belief that wealth matters because it enables help for others. You include relevant examples, such as nurses supporting patients, leaders funding education, and volunteers in old-age homes. However, the response only partly develops the central claim. Some examples describe helping in general rather than showing specifically how being rich creates the opportunity to help, and the opening contrast about financial status is unclear. The point about self-satisfaction is relevant but needs explanation and a clearer link to your argument. To strengthen the response, explain what resources wealth provides and develop each example to show how those resources benefit others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs, examples, and a concluding statement, so there is some overall organisation. “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “For instance” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the second paragraph shifts from people’s work lives to nurses without a clear connection, while “On the other hand” introduces another supporting point rather than a contrasting view. Several ideas are crowded into long sentences, and references such as “This leader” and “these kind of helping nature” are not always clear. Organise each body paragraph around one main reason, use transitions that accurately show the relationship between points, and make the links between examples and claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial status,” “employment,” “self satisfaction,” and “remuneration.” These choices show an effort to discuss social support and its effects. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “the appropriate opportunity,” “serving to god in their needs,” and “build the strong emotions.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “assests,” “fell,” and “enchance,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and precise terms: for example, describe people as “in need,” say that volunteers “build emotional connections,” and refer to “financial resources” that enable charitable support. Proofreading would help make your intended meaning easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “although helping the people in the right time…” However, many sentences contain errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms, which sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “They are several humans they to interested in help others” lacks a correct clause structure, and “the duty of nurse is to help the patients” has problems with article use and sentence construction. The final sentence, “I strongly believe that bring rich is help to others,” is also grammatically unclear. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then connect them with subordinate clauses. Check agreement, verb patterns, and punctuation when editing.

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