Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that the most important thing about rich people is that they have the opportunity to help others. This essay does not agree with that suggestion completely because doing good deeds for others is not limited by wealth or richness.

Making a choice on whether to help a person or not is fully based on the decision maker. Being rich means owning expensive and valuable stuff but it does not automatically convey kindness. To help others, it requires the individual to take an action that is beyond themself which means you have to prioritise the other person's sake more than yours. Not every assistance has to involve money if you have the willingness and heart to do it. For example, if someone is suffering to an illness, the only solution is not to pay for the whole fee, however. Taking them to a hospital by car or taxi, or even asking them about their wellbeing is and spreading positivity and inspiration using optimistic words is one type of help.

It is not a responsibility for successful people to take care of other people. Having a certain level of wealth or authority comes along with many other consequences which requires more attention on some part. The more you achieve, the more important your role in that community becomes. Thus, they often do not have spare times to think about helping someone. For example, a CEO, who is affluent, is always working to reach their vision in which reaching that is the most essential thing in their life for the moment. Moreover, they are already packed enough with heavy workload which does not give time for them to consider helping someone at all.

In conclusion, everyone has the opportunity to support others, disregarding their richness. It is not the most meaningful to those who are rich to be looking for chances to help someone. And it is neither a requirement for anyone to assist other people nor to live for their own sake.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, arguing that support is possible without wealth and is not an obligation for successful people. The examples of helping an ill person through transport or encouragement are relevant and help explain your first point. However, the response does not fully explore what wealth may uniquely enable, such as funding services or supporting many people at once, so the central claim about the opportunity wealth provides is only partly addressed. The CEO example also asserts that affluent people lack time, but does not show why this is generally true or weigh it against their resources. Develop these points with more balanced explanation and make the extent of your disagreement more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main ideas are generally presented in a sensible order. Linking phrases such as “For example,” “Thus,” and “Moreover” help signal examples and consequences. However, some connections are unclear or mechanical. In the first body paragraph, the sentence beginning “Taking them to a hospital” becomes difficult to follow, and the relationship between the examples is obscured. The second paragraph moves from wealth and authority to community roles and then to a CEO without fully explaining each step. The conclusion also introduces the idea of living “for their own sake,” which is not clearly connected to the preceding argument. Use clearer referencing and ensure each paragraph develops one central point progressively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “valuable,” “prioritise,” “affluent,” and “consequences,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts to express abstract ideas, such as “the more important your role in that community becomes.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, which limits clarity: “suffering to an illness,” “spare times,” “packed enough with heavy workload,” and “reach their vision” do not sound idiomatic in context. “Richness” is also less natural than “wealth” when discussing a person’s financial status. Aim to learn vocabulary in common word partnerships and check whether a phrase fits its intended meaning. More precise phrasing would make your argument sound clearer and more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional phrasing (“if you have the willingness”) and comparative clauses (“The more you achieve, the more important your role…”). Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors make sentences awkward or difficult to process. For example, “the only solution is not to pay for the whole fee, however” is poorly structured, while “which requires more attention on some part” has an unclear clause reference. In “a CEO … is always working … in which reaching that is,” the relative construction is not formed correctly. There are also agreement and article issues, such as “consequences which requires” and “with heavy workload.” Review clause construction, subject–verb agreement, and articles, and edit long sentences by separating ideas where needed.

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