Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many peoples belived thate being rich is that one has the oppertunity to helps to other peoples.I agree with this because there are many people who need the help.if you are rich you must helpe them.

Firstly,rich people have lot of money thus they used them in diffrent things for them.Moreover all rich people do not helped to the needed.Most of rich people were used money on self but all rich people do not spended on neded people.Furthermore,many rich people have diffrent thing for the spend mouney.If rich people used the money on other people that is good for them and also others.In additions, you are not rich but you also helped others.There are no need to become rich for helped to others.

Secondly,There are many benefie if you are rich such as you make any garden or water system for others.Moreover, Many rich people make a schools,hospitals for other people it is benefitial for other people.In additions,there are many types of thing thate are usefools for others.Every people do not have money for helped to others people but rich people have enough money thus they have opper

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a relevant position—“I agree”—and give examples of how wealthy people might help, such as building “schools” and “hospitals.” You also recognise that people do not have to be rich to help others, which adds a useful qualification. However, the response does not fully explain whether helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, and several points are repeated or left unfinished. The final sentence ends at “they have opper,” so the argument is incomplete. The response is also below the required 250 words, limiting the opportunity to develop and support your ideas. To strengthen the answer, explain why helping others matters more than other benefits of wealth and develop each example with a clear explanation of its impact.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic structure, with an opening position and two body paragraphs introduced by “Firstly” and “Secondly.” These markers help the reader recognise the intended sequence, and the examples generally relate to helping others. However, ideas within the first paragraph are difficult to follow: the points about rich people spending money on themselves and helping others are repeated without a clear progression. Linking words such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “In additions” are used mechanically, and some connections between sentences are unclear. The second paragraph also stops abruptly, leaving the discussion unfinished. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain it and give a relevant example; use referencing and transitions to show how each sentence develops that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “rich,” “money,” “help,” “schools,” and “hospitals,” so the general topic is understandable. There are also attempts to express different ideas, such as “water system” and “beneficial.” However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “people,” “rich,” and “help.” Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms—such as “belived,” “oppertunity,” “benefie,” and “usefools”—make the writing less clear and reduce precision. Some phrases, including “spended on neded people,” are difficult to interpret. Build a wider range of accurate expressions for charitable support and public services, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, use “donate to people in need” rather than “spend on needed people.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional structure in “If you are rich you must helpe them” and a reason-result link with “thus.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on isolated statements. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is weak, and errors occur throughout. Examples include “they used them” where the tense does not fit the general claim, “all rich people do not helped,” and “There are no need to become rich.” Articles, agreement, and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “make a schools” and the missing spaces after commas. Practise accurate present-tense statements and conditional sentences, and proofread for subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Greater accuracy in these patterns would make your meaning easier to follow.

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