Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

yes, I totally agree with this that so many money on the poor people for helping them.

living in Paris for 20 years and we were not much rich at that time my father was working in a local shop of me and his salary was not much. His salary was only €50 that is not survival for our home and for also our family then my father move to the mall of Paris.

Then the salary goes increased and he earned much .

So if you have money then you have to spend it on good deeds. My father said that he spend 30% salary on poor peoples helping them.

We found so many poor people in which there is a girl who have 3 childs and her husband and the father of those childern were passed away . First we console them all and tell them that we will admit them all in the school and the responsibility of fee were on us .

Also if we are rich then we have to do someone get married who did not survie for wediing.

Also spend money or help peoples in shelter home, old age home and needy peoples.

We can also distribute money to hospitals for hepling the sick peoples who are not able to pay the hospital dues .So in my words we just spend money on needy peoples who are capable of that , In short its our duty to do good deeds in life .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You clearly agree that wealth creates an opportunity and responsibility to help others, and the examples about supporting a family’s education and assisting sick people are relevant to the question. The account of your father’s experience also gives your position a personal basis. However, the response mainly lists ways to help rather than explaining why helping others is the most important benefit of being rich. The opening is difficult to interpret, and the final claim that it is “our duty” is not developed into a fuller explanation. To strengthen the response, state your position clearly at the start, explain the value or impact of helping, and develop fewer examples with specific reasoning. This would make the answer more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence: you introduce your agreement, describe your father’s circumstances, and then give examples of charitable support. Some linking words, such as “Then,” “So,” and “Also,” help show the order of ideas. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, so the shift from personal history to general advice is abrupt. Several points are added as a list, and the repeated use of “Also” does not show how they relate to one another. References such as “them all” are not always clear. Use separate paragraphs for your position, personal example, and conclusion, and connect each example to the central argument with clearer transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant words, including “salary,” “poor people,” “school,” and “hospitals,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “help,” “people,” and “money.” Several word choices or combinations make meaning less clear, such as “so many money,” “the salary goes increased,” and “spend money on needy peoples who are capable of that.” Spelling errors, including “childern,” “survie,” and “hepling,” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider range of expressions for charitable support and poverty, and check spelling and natural word combinations. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the examples without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when describing the family with three children, and you use some simple sentences to state your opinion. However, the range of structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include “my father move to the mall,” “the salary goes increased,” and “he spend 30% salary,” where tense, verb form, and sentence construction are not controlled. Agreement and sentence boundaries are also problematic in phrases such as “a girl who have 3 childs.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “which.” Check verb tense consistency, subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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