Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

nowaday some people believe that most important benefit of being rich having to chance other people i am completely agree beacuse rich people can help poor fsmilies and support society in many way

on the one hand rich people can help poor families to give food and basic need things poor families cannot afford the basic thing for example they do not afford the children books and school fees and clothes while rich poeple can help every things and wealthy peoples can support to better life rich people can support poor families to give new clothes children school fess and uniform and other school items and i agree rich people can very help full

on the other hand rich people support school to repair buildings and their some childrens learn and they cannot affords school fees so they can helps RICH peoples helps to education center and hospital and schools

they go to hosiptal and give money poor families because they cant afford the hospital fee and can treatment better rich peoples help orfage their lives many childrens childrens are very happy and can see and very happy some poor families cant give children school fees they can help and better future they can help alots of things for example school , hosiptal and orfage

in conclusion rich people helps to poor families without any reason in my opinion they can help poor people so they live better lives and i am completely agree this rich peoples helps to begars and poor families

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that helping others is an important benefit of wealth. You give relevant examples, including providing food, clothes and school fees, and supporting schools, hospitals and orphanages. These points show an understanding of the topic. However, the response addresses the question only partially because it mainly lists ways rich people can help, without explaining why this is the most important benefit of being rich or considering other benefits. Several examples are repeated, and ideas such as helping hospitals are not fully explained. To strengthen the response, develop two or three distinct reasons, explain their impact, and connect each one directly to why helping others matters more than other advantages of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure, with an opening, two body sections introduced by “on the one hand” and “on the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some guidance through your ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body section repeats support for school fees, clothes and school items, while the second moves between schools, hospitals, treatment and orphanages without clear links. Some connections are also unclear, as in “they can helps RICH peoples helps to education center.” Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange examples in a logical order, and add clear explanations of how each example supports your position. Avoid repeating the same point in the conclusion without summarising the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use topic-related vocabulary such as “poor families,” “school fees,” “hospital” and “orphanage,” so the reader can identify the subject of your examples. However, the range is limited and many words and phrases are repeated, especially “rich people,” “help” and “poor families.” Several spelling and word-choice errors make parts harder to understand, including “fsmilies,” “begars” and “can treatment better.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “give food and basic need things” and “support to better life.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for charitable support and its effects, and check spelling and collocations. This will help you express your examples more precisely and reduce repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “while” in the discussion of school costs, and you use basic sentence patterns to communicate your main position. However, the range of structures is limited, and attempts at longer sentences are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur in phrases such as “rich people helps” and “they can helps”; missing articles and sentence structure also affect “most important benefit of being rich having to chance.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are frequently unclear, making several ideas run together. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with conjunctions such as “because” and “so.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles and full stops when editing.

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