Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some believe that being rich is biggest opportunity to help some needy people.Being a wealthy is a good thing to help someone when they need.I totally believe in this being wealthy is opportunity to help some needey people.In this essay we explore this statemnet and show our result.

Firstly, Being wealthy is a good thing,If we are healthy we are able to do help for people. We can help in their work,education and some other thing.For example, in my country there are too much people who is poor.They are needy people.They need some help in their houses and need their groceries.Many people give too much to this kind of people.We have a proper welfare for people.

On the other hand, Some people need in their education because our education system is most costly.People can not afford this and at this time wealthy people give some donation to these people for their studies. Moreever,people need some donations in their marriages and other thing.Rich people gives money for their marraige.So, being a rich in crucial opportunity to help others.For instance,in my city there are lot of people who is rich and they give too much donations for the need of these people who is needy and need for marriage,education.

In conclusion,I totally agree in this being a rich is a good thing to help others. People wants to do many things in our society like they want to do higher education, marriages,working.But they did not have more money for this and here rich people comes and give donations to these kind of people for their all dreams.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you state, “I totally believe” that wealth creates an opportunity to help others, and the examples about supporting poor people, education and marriage are relevant to the topic. However, the response mainly explains ways rich people can help, rather than examining whether this is the most important aspect of being rich. The opening also promises to “explore this statement” without setting out a more precise argument, and several examples are asserted rather than explained—for instance, the reference to a “proper welfare” system is not connected clearly to your view. To strengthen the response, address the wording “the most important thing” directly and develop fewer examples with clearer explanations of their impact.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. “Firstly,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal stages of the discussion. However, the progression within paragraphs is often repetitive: the second body paragraph returns several times to donations for education and marriage without adding much explanation. “On the other hand” suggests a contrasting view, but the paragraph continues to support your agreement, so the relationship between ideas is unclear. Some references, such as “these people” and “this kind of people,” are vague, and punctuation around linking phrases is inconsistent. Organise each paragraph around one distinct reason, use transitions that accurately show the relationship between ideas, and explain how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “wealthy,” “poor,” “education,” “donation” and “welfare,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, particularly the repeated use of “help,” “people,” “need” and “too much.” Several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “a wealthy,” “needey,” “marraige” and “give too much donations,” which reduce clarity and control. Some phrases, including “being a rich in crucial opportunity,” do not express the intended meaning naturally. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for financial support and social need, and check spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish different kinds of assistance rather than repeating the same general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple patterns, and you attempt some longer structures with “because,” “when” and “who.” However, control is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include “there are too much people who is poor,” “People wants to do many things,” and “rich people comes and give donations,” where agreement and sentence structure are faulty. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or incorrect, as in “being a rich” and “agree in this.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention: several sentences run together after commas, and capital letters are used inconsistently. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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