Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed by some individuals that, if a person is wealthy it will be possible that person can assist other people. l fully agree with this statement and i will discuss about it in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, the first and formost advantage of rich people that person can help people in health care. To explain it, majority of poor people die due to lack of money, because medical treatments are very expensive. However, privileged people help needy individual it can save their lives. Not only this but it gives the inner satisfaction to rich people if they help others. In other words, brilliant student who can not study further because of money while, wealthy people help them they work hard and achieve successs in their life.

Furthermore, number of things like food, shalther, and clothe basic need of person but poor people sometimes can not afford one time meal but rich person have enough money they can allocate on their food. Morover, it gives the opportunity to rich people to provide transportation and schools to local student who go to city or near by villeges to get knowledge. It is only possible when rich people help others, For example, in country side most of the learners prefer walking to reach school which is not safe for tham.

To conclude, having enough money not only give the opportunity to rich people to helu in medical, education, transportation but it also good for intelligent student who can not study due to capital.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you fully agree that wealth is valuable because it enables people to help others. You address several relevant areas, including healthcare, education, food, shelter and transport, and the examples of funding treatment and helping students support your argument. This meets the task well overall. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that helping others gives wealthy people “inner satisfaction” is not developed, and the transport example could explain more clearly how providing transport improves students’ access to education. To strengthen the response, explain the impact of each example and connect it explicitly to why helping others is the most important benefit of wealth, rather than simply one possible benefit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs group related examples, and signposts such as “To begin with” and “Furthermore” help readers follow the main points. However, progression within sentences and between ideas is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, “However, privileged people help needy individual it can save their lives” joins two ideas without a clear grammatical or logical link, while the second body paragraph moves quickly from basic needs to transport and schools. Some linking phrases, including “Not only this” and “In other words,” do not clearly show the relationship between the ideas that follow. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make each paragraph develop one main point in a more deliberate sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “medical treatments,” “privileged people,” “inner satisfaction,” and “allocate,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “first and formost advantage,” “shalther,” “clothe,” and “capital” where you mean money or financial resources. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “help them they work hard” and “provide transportation and schools.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for supporting people, funding services and improving access to education would help you communicate your ideas more clearly and flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in the opening and a “Not only … but” construction. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “if a person is wealthy it will be possible that person can assist” needs a clearer clause structure, and “first … advantage … that person can help” is missing a grammatical link. In “poor people sometimes can not afford one time meal,” the article and sentence structure also need attention. Practise building complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and using commas or full stops to separate independent ideas. Greater accuracy in these patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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