Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some people believe that the most significant thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. Altough many people argue that the money earned by rich people should be spent as per their choice only, I believe that helping others in the time of need will eventually cause benefit to the rich only.

Primarily, being rich is not only about spending money on yourself. Meeting your wants and purchasing all the things you always willed to purchase. But helping others is as important as anything else and is the biggest benefit of being rich. If anyone is in need of anything so we'll have to opportunity to help them and this will not only make us a great person but eventually, this help will comeback to us someday with even greater benefit in store. For instance, helping any person who is in need will make that person always remeber you and they will also one day help us in the time of our need.

Secondly, in this world there are million of people who are in need of help and only few are those rich people who are ready to help people. So this thing should be implemented and people who are in need should be helped. This will slowly heal this planet. People who needed debts and loans with heavy interest rate won't have to worry about repaying back with heavy bank interest. People will be stopped from falling into debt traps and eventually the growth of that particualar country will be near. For example, when people take debt they take more debt to repay the earlier one hence, falling into debt trap. Rich people can help these kinds of poeple with very low interest rates and they'll be able to pay their debt. This way overall the country will not be facing these kinds of situations which lead to the downfall of GDP and growth of the country.

In conclusion, People argue that helping others while being rich is not the most important thing. But I believe it should be the most important thing about being rich because of reasons like growth of a country and the help coming back to that rich person that will cause benefit to them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that helping others is a major benefit of wealth, and you address the prompt with reasons and examples. The discussion of helping people escape debt is relevant and gives your second body paragraph a practical focus. However, the response does not fully examine whether this is the most important aspect of being rich; it mainly asserts that helping others benefits both the recipient and the wealthy person. The first paragraph’s idea that help may be returned is supported by a brief example, while the broader claim about national growth needs clearer explanation and more specific support. Develop the comparison with other possible benefits of wealth and explain why helping others outweighs them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the points generally follow a sensible order. Linking phrases such as “Primarily,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph begins with a sentence fragment (“Meeting your wants and purchasing all the things…”), and the shift from personal generosity to national GDP in the second paragraph is abrupt. Some connections are also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “eventually” and “help.” Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to the main claim, and vary or reduce formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “debt traps,” “interest rates,” “repaying” and “growth of a country,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts less natural or occasionally harder to understand. Examples include “willed to purchase,” “help will comeback,” “million of people,” and “the growth of the country will be near.” There are also repeated general words such as “help,” “people” and “thing,” where more precise alternatives would strengthen the argument. Aim to use accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe people as “in need of assistance” and say that a country’s growth may “improve.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, as in “If anyone is in need…” and the explanation of how debt can accumulate. However, control is inconsistent, and several sentence structures are faulty. “Meeting your wants and purchasing all the things…” is a fragment, while “If anyone is in need of anything so we'll have to opportunity…” has an unclear clause structure. There are also errors in agreement and sentence boundaries, such as “there are million of people” and the comma splice in “For example, when people take debt they take more debt to repay the earlier one hence, falling into debt trap.” Practise complete sentences, accurate clause linking and punctuation, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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