Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often debated whether the most significant benefit of being wealthy is having enough openings of helping others. In my opinion, while there are also many other luxurious and self-needs fulfilling advantages of being perviliged, I firmly believe that benefiting others is still the most indispensable benefit. This essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why my stance is the primary factor.

On the one hand, some people argue that being in the elite class undoubtedly provides many benefits including getting luxuries of life, affording whatever they want to have and fulfilling all their dreams. To clarify, when individuals or societies focus on this aspect, they tend to have enough resources to live a good life and have immense opportunities that others don't get in their whole life. For instance, the public of the privileged and developed countries such as the USA and the UK enjoy latest educational, economical and social benefits due to their plenty of resources and economic stability. Consequently, this demonstrates why a significant portion of the public supports this perspective.

On the other hand, I would argue that the wealthy people have the greatest advantage of helping people in different ways. This is primarily because they have enough resources by which they can socially, locally and economically benefit others such as providing financial aid to the needy people, affording the poor childrens' educational expenses or even funding some educational institutes which require finanacial assistance. A clear example of this can be seen in different public fund raising events where rich people provides heavy fundings to benefit people.

In conclusion, although wealthy people enjoy far more benefits in their life but I reiterate that helping others is the vastly superior benefit which clearly outweighs any potential drawbacks. Moreover, the elite class also supports this perspective to ensure self-peace alongwith balancing the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you acknowledge the personal advantages of wealth but argue that helping others is its most important benefit. Both sides are addressed, and the examples of financial aid, education costs and fundraising are relevant. This meets the task well, while the explanation is not equally developed throughout: the first body paragraph lists benefits such as luxuries and opportunities but does not explore why these might be considered more important, and the fundraising example is brief. The conclusion also introduces “self-peace” and social balance without explaining these points. To strengthen the response further, develop the reasoning behind each main claim and make the comparison between personal benefits and helping others more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the shift between perspectives easy to follow, while “Consequently” and “In conclusion” signal relationships between ideas. This logical progression is effective. Some linking is a little formulaic, however, and a few references are not fully clear; for example, “this perspective” in the first body paragraph could refer to several benefits just listed. The final sentence adds a new point about self-peace and social balance rather than neatly drawing together the argument. Use more precise references and make each paragraph’s final sentence connect directly to the central comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for the topic, including “privileged,” “economic stability,” “financial aid” and “educational expenses.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and attempts at less common language show ambition. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “openings of helping others,” “self-needs fulfilling advantages,” “heavy fundings” and “self-peace.” There are also spelling errors, including “perviliged,” “finanacial” and “alongwith.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations over elaborate phrasing, and check spelling and word forms carefully during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“while there are also…”) and a reason clause beginning “This is primarily because…”. Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “rich people provides” needs subject–verb agreement, and “the poor childrens’ educational expenses” has an incorrect plural form and possessive construction. In the conclusion, “although wealthy people enjoy… but” combines two contrasting structures unnecessarily; use either “although” or “but.” There are also article and sentence-pattern issues in phrases such as “enjoy latest educational… benefits.” Review agreement, articles, plurals and the structure of contrast clauses to improve accuracy while retaining your complex sentences.

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