Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Successful and wealthy people has been generating great revenue from their business and other platforms these days. Some people believe that being rich is the greatest responsibility to serve other and broaden opportunities for people. I strongly agree with this view of helping unprivileged people and support society to improve.

Wealthy people can help people from disadvantaged background to improve their daily life by providing basic necessities. A proportion of people are suffering from various diseases and illnesses, affluent individuals can support their medical, and treatment expenditure and pay for the food. Furthermore, they can offer scholarships to students who are uanble to afford further education expenses. For example, big businesses and wealthy people around the world offers scholarships to undergraduate and postgraduate students from low-income families and sponsor all the finances during their studies.

Another step can be taken from waelthy people to support long-term improvements in theri communities. Affluent people can fund in hospitals, education sectors, and charitable projects that benefit many people. Some underserved area does not have fundamental facilities at schools, and hospitals, therefore they can donate money to build public sectors as well as facilitate people with basic amenities there. For instance, Bill Gates is the most richest businessman around the world who has donated almost his wealth in charities and broaden the career opportunities for people.

In conclusion, being rich is the greatest blessing by God and people must utilize this by providing others as well in terms of supporting financially and providing career opportunties. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this view of helping others by sponsoring students and funding in the development of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I strongly agree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the central idea by explaining how wealth can help individuals through medical support and scholarships, and how it can fund longer-term community improvements such as hospitals and schools. The examples, including scholarships for low-income students and Bill Gates’s charitable work, support your argument. This is a well-focused response with relevant ideas extended through explanation. To develop the discussion further, explain more directly why the opportunity to help others is the most important aspect of being rich, rather than mainly showing that wealthy people can help. Some claims, such as describing wealth as a “blessing by God,” could also be connected more clearly to your reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct focuses, and a conclusion. The progression from immediate assistance to longer-term community investment is logical, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “Another step,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. However, some links feel mechanical, and the relationship between sentences is not always smooth—for example, the move from illness and treatment costs to food could be joined more naturally. References such as “they” in the discussion of underserved areas could also be made more precise. To strengthen cohesion, use a wider range of linking methods and connect examples explicitly to the point each paragraph is making.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “disadvantaged background,” “basic necessities,” “scholarships,” “low-income families,” and “charitable projects.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt some less common expressions such as “underserved area” and “affluent individuals.” At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or awkward: “generating great revenue from their business and other platforms,” “support their medical, and treatment expenditure,” and “fund in hospitals” do not sound natural in context. Spelling slips such as “uanble,” “waelthy,” and “opportunties” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn vocabulary in natural word partnerships and proofread spelling, while retaining the relevant range you already demonstrate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style explanation beginning “therefore” and a relative clause in “people who are unable to afford further education expenses.” The meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “people has been generating” should use a plural verb, while “big businesses and wealthy people … offers” also needs plural agreement. In “Some underserved area does not have,” both the noun and verb form need adjustment. The sentence about people suffering from illnesses is joined with a comma where a full stop or conjunction would be clearer. Review subject–verb agreement and practise checking each sentence for a complete, correctly connected structure.

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