Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Wealthiest citizens plays crucial in individuals lives. A group of people believed that multimillionaires has the chance to help poor people; such as to provide foods, shelter and many more. I strongly agree to a larger extent that rich people should always ready to help those types of people, who requires help financially.

To begin with, there are enormous benefits to share the small amount of fundings to the needy one. First and foremost, rich people should donate their minimum amount of salary in a hospital. As a consequence, poor people able to utilize hospital facilities and plenty of patients get free treatment from the hospital. To cite an example, recent survey of Time Of India, one of the richest person Mukesh Ambani donates 50 lakhs in Hinduja hospital at Mumbai. Besides this wealthy people should donate in schools as well as universities. As a result, the literacy rate will be increased in the future.

Furthermore, rich people should provide food packets into slum areas, due to increasing rates in food products poor people cannot afford it and it directly enhance the crime rates. If wealthy people provide food packets, so it not only decrease the crime rate but also decrease death rate in poor people. Moreover, multimillionaires should donate their earnings in disabled orphanages. Thus, many orphanages have strong financial pilar. To cite an example, as per a survey one of the famous Bollywood celebrity Mr. Amitabh Bachchan, who donates 2 crore in disabled hostels.

To conclude, the privileged person has this chance of improving their nation with the extra money. Though it is their hard-earned money, by returning to their supporters and increasing the money's use, they should focus on this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that wealthy people should use their resources to help others, and you support this with examples involving hospitals, education, food provision and orphanages. These points address the question and are relevant. The discussion also shows some development, particularly where you explain that donations could improve access to treatment and education. However, the essay focuses mainly on ways rich people can help, rather than examining whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich. The final point about returning money to “their supporters” is also unclear. To develop the response further, explain why this opportunity matters more than other advantages of wealth, or qualify your agreement with a contrasting consideration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting different forms of assistance, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages. The examples are generally placed alongside the relevant claims. At times, however, cohesion feels mechanical because several sentences begin with formulaic links such as “As a consequence,” “As a result” and “Moreover.” Some connections between claims are not fully explained—for instance, the link between food donations and reduced crime is asserted rather than shown. The reference to “their supporters” in the conclusion is also unclear. Use fewer stock transitions and make the cause-and-effect links and references more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “multimillionaires,” “literacy rate,” “crime rates” and “financially,” so the reader can understand the subject and your main examples. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “To cite an example.” However, noticeable word-choice and collocation problems sometimes make the writing awkward: “share the small amount of fundings,” “donate their minimum amount of salary,” and “strong financial pilar” are not natural expressions. “Food packets into slum areas” is also imprecise. These issues keep the vocabulary from being consistently clear and appropriate. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships for charity and public services, and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “that,” “who” and “as a consequence.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is usually understandable. However, errors occur across many sentences and sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “Wealthiest citizens plays” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “multimillionaires has” repeats this issue. In “poor people able to utilize,” a verb is missing, and “it not only decrease … but also decrease” has incorrect verb forms. Articles and sentence construction also need attention. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then review agreement, tense and article use, especially in longer sentences.

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