Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is no surprise that we live in a capitalist world where the winner takes it all and sometimes too big for the winners sole needs and wants thereby making people assume that the sole purpose to making wealth should be to share while others think that the wealthy person should rather build an empire and focus on his or her self. The thrust of this essay will be focused on why it is most imperative for one to help others after ammerssing wealth.

The sole purpose of making wealth is to meet needs and wants and when one have more than enough, it is only essential to help others who are in need. There is no point making wealth without human development especially towards those close to you, so in order to feel happy and accomplished, it is only best to impact lives close to you so you may not appear wicked.

spending money on luxurious items will not give one great return like investing in human capital development. Some will claim that the main essence of making money is to spend it and enjoy life which has no return benefits and is considered a liability but that is not same with investing or helping another who could probably bring you up when things start going south.

Very important is the issue of social responsibility that help propell development in the community which could be relegated to the background if people don't prioritise helping others after making wealth. This clearly depicts that helping others should be the most important thing to do as it will maintain a conventional practice in business that have been distributing wealth and maintaining parity to a reasonable extent.

In conclusion, it suffice to state that helping others should be a priority as we have seen above as it is not only beneficial to the individual but the Society at large as other reasons could be a liability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you argue that helping others should be a priority once a person has sufficient wealth. The essay addresses the prompt and gives relevant reasons, including supporting people in need, developing human capital, and contributing to community development. The contrast with spending on luxury goods also helps explain your view. This meets the task well, and the focus on social responsibility shows some broader consideration of the issue. However, several points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that someone helped may “bring you up when things start going south” is not developed, and the final reference to business distributing wealth and maintaining parity is unclear. Explain these links with a specific example to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion that restates your position. Ideas generally progress from personal needs to investment in people and then community responsibility. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence is very long and combines the opposing views with your position, making the argument difficult to follow. Transitions such as “Very important is the issue” feel abrupt, while “This clearly depicts” does not make the connection to the preceding point precise. Some references, including “that” in the final body paragraph, have unclear antecedents. Use shorter topic sentences and explicit links between each reason and your central claim to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to wealth and society, including “human capital development,” “social responsibility,” “community,” and “liability.” These choices show an effort to discuss the topic beyond basic terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear: “sole purpose to making wealth,” “ammerssing wealth,” “propell development,” and “maintaining parity” are examples. “The winner takes it all” and “build an empire” are also broad expressions that do not precisely support the argument. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help you express the distinctions between personal spending, charitable giving, and investment in others.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “when,” “so,” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “when one have more than enough” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “the winners sole needs” lacks the possessive form. The opening sentence joins several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries, while “it suffice to state” also has an agreement error. There are some sentence-boundary and punctuation problems, including the lowercase start of “spending money” after a paragraph break. Use shorter sentences when presenting several claims, and check agreement, possessives, and punctuation during revision.

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