Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued by some people that it is the most important thing if we were rich we have the appourtunity to help others. Although some people might disagree with the statement, i compeletly agree with the statement and i will disscuss that why i agree to this statement in this essay.

Firstly, i believe that we should help others if we are rich enough because helping others will gives us inner satisfaction and we can proud ourselves. In todays modern world peoples are facing a-lot of ecnomically issues and they doesn't have enough money to support their families. Moreover, Middle class familes can't afford the economic pressure thats why they starts thinking of sucides. In these circumstances if we have the enough money we should helf poor and middle class familes so they can eat and wear well in these social and ecnomical issues.

Secondly, If we are rich enough, we should support the poor families who doesn't have the money to educate their childerens. Because, education is a right of everyone and we should help those families who can't educate their childerens. Furthermore, poor families often send their childerens on a labour work in early ages for their bread and butter. we should help these families and gives them enough money in every month so, they can stop sending their under eighteen childeren on a labour working.

In conclusion, rich peoples should help poor and middle class familes because helping others will benefits for them and as well as for ourselves too. Because helping others will make ourselves proud and that also be benefiting for out next life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that helping others is the most important benefit of being rich. You support this with relevant points about relieving financial hardship and enabling children to receive an education, so the response addresses the central question. However, the discussion focuses mainly on why wealthy people should help, rather than fully examining whether this is the most important thing about being rich. The point about inner satisfaction is introduced but not developed, and the conclusion repeats the main claim without weighing it against other possible benefits of wealth. To strengthen the response, explain why helping others matters more than personal comfort, security, or status, and develop each supporting example with clearer reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The ideas also follow a broadly logical order: financial support is discussed before education. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear because several claims are placed together without explaining their links. For example, the move from economic pressure to families thinking of suicide needs careful explanation, and the education paragraph repeats “we should help” rather than developing the argument further. Some linking is mechanical, and the final sentence beginning “Because” is not smoothly connected to the conclusion. Use clearer cause-and-effect links and make each paragraph build one main point step by step.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “inner satisfaction,” “economic pressure,” “educate,” and “labour work,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “peoples,” “a-lot,” “economic issues,” and “labour working”; some expressions do not sound natural in context. Repetition of “help,” “families,” and “money” also limits flexibility. Build a bank of accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise phrases such as “financial hardship,” “fund children’s education,” and “child labour” would help express your ideas clearly and naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “if we are rich enough” and a relative clause beginning “families who…”. This gives the response some structural variety, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “helping others will gives us” has an incorrect verb form, while “they doesn't have” and “families who doesn't have” show agreement problems. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “we have the enough money” and the concluding sentence that begins “Because.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb patterns after modal verbs, and complete sentence construction before adding more complex clauses.

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