Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I agree to this statement to some extent that a rich person has oppurtunity to help other because he/she is pretty much easy on his/her financial condition. But i won't say that this is the most important thing of being rich. From my point of view, the most important benefit of being rich is its aspect of making someone independent. Someone who is rich doesn't has to be dependent on others to fullfill his needs. The most horrible time is when you don't have source of income. First we should establish ourself to the position where we don't need someone to live life. When we reach that point, with fullfilling our own needs, we can help others comfortably. I am determined that once i shall be on that position, i will definatley help others to go through their thick and thins. I shall mainly focus on providing them meals because meal comes first leaving everything else secondary. But I have noticed an issue of being rich. When people got wealth, they consider it to be for granted and forget their struggling days. Wealth makes them greedy and very few are among them who actually think of helping others. Islam has a very great solution for that only if someone is true follower. It states that if someone gets enough wealth to a certain level, he/she should donate 2.5% of his/her wealth which is exceeding a certain threshold. If someone's wealth doesn't reach to that threshold, he/she doesn't have obligation to donate. This system is called Zakat and it is considered to be mandatory for the person fullfilling the threshold condition.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partly agree that helping others is important, but argue that financial independence is the greater benefit. You address both sides of this position with relevant points, including meeting one’s own needs before helping others and the risk that wealth can make people greedy. The example of Zakat also supports your discussion of charitable giving. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that wealth makes people greedy would be stronger with a brief explanation or example, and the link between independence and being rich could be clarified. Develop these points more evenly and connect the Zakat example directly to your view on what matters most about wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a generally understandable progression: it states your position, explains independence, describes your intention to help, and then discusses greed and Zakat. Linking phrases such as “From my point of view,” “When we reach that point,” and “But” help signal the direction of your argument. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous block, so the shift from personal independence to greed and religious obligation is abrupt. Some references, such as “that position” and “that only,” are not fully clear, and repeated use of “someone” and “wealth” makes the flow feel less controlled. Use separate paragraphs for the main argument and the counterpoint/example, and make links between them more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financial condition,” “independent,” “source of income,” “threshold,” and “mandatory.” These choices allow you to discuss both personal security and charitable giving. There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “oppurtunity,” “fullfill,” “definatley,” and “for granted” in “consider it to be for granted.” Some phrases are unnatural or imprecise, including “go through their thick and thins” and “meal comes first leaving everything else secondary.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling; for example, “provide meals” and “take their wealth for granted” would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including conditional clauses such as “When we reach that point” and the sentence beginning “If someone’s wealth doesn’t reach to that threshold.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Someone who is rich doesn’t has to be dependent” should use “doesn’t have to be dependent,” and “First we should establish ourself” has a pronoun-agreement problem. The sentence “When people got wealth” also shifts tense inappropriately, while “he/she should donate 2.5% of his/her wealth which is exceeding” is awkwardly structured. Practise subject–verb agreement, consistent tense, and clearer relative clauses, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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