Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, becoming rich is an ongoing debate that has great influence on individual and society as a whole. Everyone is in struggle for the sake of high standard of livings. Some people argue that helping others is the most important opportunity to become a rich. In this regard, I am not completely agree with this statement. This essay discusses the views before drawing a conclusion.

There are several reasons why helping others is not the best opportunity to become a rich. Firstly, hard work is the basic factor that contributes much in the progress of the nation. For instance, when someone has aim in life they worked hard to achieve their goals and ambitions. This attitude are more directed towards life and make them successful in the future. The other reason is effort because continuous efforts also bring fruitful results. Furthermore, hard work and continuous struggle make individual rich in the future.

On the other hand, according to some people opinion, helping others is an important opportunity to become a rich but, from my perspective helping others give the sense of satisfaction and calm our soul. For example, when someone is weak in studies and making things easier for them or helping them in studies provide satisfaction, but it is not provide the opportunity of becoming rich.

In conclusion, although helping others is appreciating thing, hard work and efforts play an essential role to become a rich. In my opinion, both are crucial to maintain a balance healthier environment that will prove beneficial in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a relevant response and state a position—“I am not completely agree”—then contrast hard work with helping others. However, the task asks whether the most important thing about being rich is having the opportunity to help others; your discussion shifts to whether helping others is a way to become rich. This changes the central issue and means the response only partially addresses the prompt. The point that helping others brings “satisfaction” is relevant, but it is not developed into an explanation of why that opportunity is or is not the most important aspect of wealth. Clarify your degree of agreement and support it with reasons and examples directly about what wealth enables people to do for others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph presenting reasons, a contrasting paragraph, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the broad structure. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear or repetitive: “hard work,” “effort,” and “continuous struggle” largely repeat one point rather than developing distinct reasons. The contrast paragraph also begins by describing what “some people” think, then moves to your own view without fully explaining the relationship between them. The opening promise, “This essay discusses the views,” is generic. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to your position to make cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “ambitions,” “satisfaction,” “essential role,” and “beneficial,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which makes parts of the argument less clear. For example, “high standard of livings,” “become a rich,” and “appreciating thing” show problems with word form and collocation. “Fruitful results” is understandable but vague in this context, while “calm our soul” sounds unnatural. Aim for precise expressions connected to wealth and social contribution, such as “financial success,” “support people in need,” and “a sense of fulfilment.” Vary repeated terms such as “hard work” and “efforts” with accurate alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentences, including “when someone is weak in studies … provide satisfaction,” and use clauses to explain examples. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences awkward or difficult to process. Examples include “I am not completely agree” (verb form), “they worked hard” after “when someone has” (tense consistency), and “This attitude are … and make them” (subject–verb agreement). Articles and sentence construction also need attention in “when someone has aim in life” and “but it is not provide the opportunity.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, tense, and verb forms.

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