Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is said by many people, being rich is about having the opportunity to help others. I am totally agree with this notion, because being rich is not just about having alot of money, its about having moral values, empathy and morality.

To begin with, In our religion, Islam, there are alot of instructions about humanity and moral values which taught us about being a good humanbeing. I am totally agree with this notion.There are so many examples in our Holly book about humanity for instance, In quran, there is a story about Hazrat Yousuf (AS), He was the ruler of egypt and he was very rich. He spend all his life to help others, he was the biggest example of humanity. he taught us about value of humanity instead of money.

Moreover, there are many other examples like our prophet Hazrat Muhamad (SAW) he also chose humanity over money. He was the last messenger of Allah, he could choose luxury lifestyle and facilities but he chose humanity and empathy and helped poor people all his life, He (SAW) is the biggest example that can tell us that being rich is not about having facilities and resources its about having opportunity and truthfullness to help others.

To sum up, A person is rich is not just by its sources of money but depends on its character, moral values and empathy. The best way to be rich is having a good heart and ability to help others. Our religion also guide us about humanity and empathy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that wealth matters because it enables people to help others, and the conclusion returns to this view. The religious examples are relevant and give the response a consistent focus on compassion and service. However, the argument does not fully explain the specific link between being rich and having the opportunity to help: the examples mainly show that religious figures valued humanity, rather than how wealth enabled practical assistance. The claim that “being rich is not just about having a lot of money” also shifts towards defining personal richness, which is not quite the same as evaluating the statement. Develop one example with a concrete explanation of how resources can improve others’ lives.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” make the stages of the argument easy to follow, and the two examples are grouped in separate paragraphs. However, the progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes repetitive: both repeat that a religious figure chose humanity over money without adding much new reasoning. Some references are also unclear, such as “he was the biggest example” and “he taught us,” where the reader must infer who is meant. Use clearer references and connect each example to a distinct point about how wealth can help others, rather than relying mainly on repeated transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “moral values,” “empathy,” “humanity,” and “luxury lifestyle,” so the central message is understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “humanity,” “help others,” and “example,” and some word combinations or forms are inaccurate, such as “truthfullness to help others” and “a person is rich … by its sources of money.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “alot,” “humanbeing,” and “Holly book,” are noticeable and reduce precision. Aim to vary key terms and check spelling and collocations. More precise expressions for charitable action and financial resources would help you explain your ideas with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “because” and “which,” and the overall meaning can generally be followed. However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms recur. For example, “I am totally agree” should be “I totally agree,” while “instructions … which taught us” needs a consistent tense and clearer construction. The opening, “It is said by many people, being rich is about…,” is also not correctly joined; it could be rewritten as “Many people say that being rich is about…”. There are further issues with articles, agreement and punctuation, as in “A person is rich is not just…”. Practise accurate sentence patterns and proofread for complete clauses and consistent tense.

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