Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Now a days, every other person wants to help someone financially. Some people believe that opportunity to help others is the most important thing,when you're rich. I completely agree with the statement and I will support my opinion in this essay with examples below.

First of all,

When people are rich, it is the best time for them to help others by creating an organization where homeless people can live, eat and spent their time. For example: people can create a charitable organization for the individuals who have been struggling and unable to earn bread and butter. Charitable organization will allow them to reach more people and help them to provide shelter which will ultimately reduce poverty.

Secondly, The best help one can do is by opening door of employment. For instance, When you've got financial resource you can create employment opportunity for people who are struggling to earn enough and have disability.This will make the economy strong and subsequently people will contribute to the economy as well by bring job opportunity.

On the other hand, some people argue that it is the government responsibility to help homeless people by creating employment opportunity. For instance, creating local markets for homeless people for local businesses or starting a business and recruiting people who are in need can help them to grow financially. However, authorities in every part of the world are taking action to improve poverty graph, but as a citizen , it is everyones responsibility to look after each other.

To conclude with, although government is taking measure to improve the standard of living by opening small businesses and bring employment opportunity but as part of the community, it is the responsibility of rich people to help others who cannot afford basic essentials.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that helping others is an important benefit of wealth. You support this with relevant ideas about providing shelter and creating jobs, and the conclusion returns to the responsibility of wealthy people. The response also acknowledges the counterargument that government should help. These features address the task well. To make the argument more fully developed, explain more directly why helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, rather than mainly describing ways to help. The employment point is promising but its effects are asserted rather than demonstrated, and the government counterargument could be answered more explicitly by explaining why private help remains essential alongside public action.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, moving from an introduction to two supporting points, a counterargument and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main stages. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the standalone “First of all,” paragraph break interrupts the flow before the first supporting point begins. Some connections between ideas are unclear: the claim that people will “contribute to the economy” by bringing job opportunities needs a more explicit link to the preceding point. Improve progression by keeping each main idea within a complete paragraph and using references or transitions that show how each example supports your central position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “charitable organization,” “employment opportunity,” “poverty,” and “standard of living.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and there is some attempt to use more formal language. However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “improve poverty graph,” “opening door of employment,” and “help them to provide shelter.” There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “Now a days” and “everyones,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording, and check spelling and forms carefully. A broader range of accurate expressions for social support and economic opportunity would make the argument more fluent and convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “when,” “who,” and “although,” and the overall meaning is generally clear. Some sentence forms are controlled, such as the explanation that charitable organisations can reach more people. However, errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms remain noticeable. For example, “it is the government responsibility” needs a possessive form, while “people will contribute … by bring job opportunity” has an incorrect verb form and number. The final sentence also has an awkward “although” construction that is not completed with a clear contrasting main clause. Review possessives, articles, plural forms and parallel verb structures, and proofread punctuation around introductory phrases.

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