Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that being rich has a chance to help others in thick and thin. While other believe that financial abundance is most valuable, because it enable people to less fortunate and have a sense of safety and security. In my perspective, having financial affluence provide a opportunity to assist other individuals in their financial and spirtual needs.

First of all, rich community can provide charity for health sectors and welfare companies. They can provide funds for orphans and old age homes. This act fosters a sense of equality and justice by contibuting you part for the betterment of a country. This approach brings the lower class and upper class together on the same page. They can mutually decides which projects should be initiate for boosting the economy of a state. As a result, poor people have access to basic necessities such as food, water, medicines and clothes. For instance, in Pakistan, poor people have lack of resources to fullfill their basic needs. There is a huge deprivation of hunger, medicines and water, even some people do not have homes for living. Therefore, rich coommunity should take step to fascilitate those in their diffcult times, although government is not taking any step to provide basic necessities to those people.

Furthermore, rich class can contribute in the construction of buildings, food factories, and sugar mills. This approach brings positivity and balance in community. This will lead to reduction of crimes, social discontent and emotional instability.

To includes that if a rich person should take part to contribute in health care sectors and community welfares. This act brings positivity and equality among upper and lower class. As a result, it will boost economy of the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is that wealth is valuable because it enables people to help others, and you give relevant examples such as funding health services, supporting orphanages and providing basic necessities. The Pakistan example also illustrates the needs you have in mind. However, the response only partly addresses the wording “the most important thing”: it does not clearly weigh helping others against other benefits of being rich, such as personal security, and the opening briefly introduces security without developing it. Several points remain general—for example, the claims that charity creates equality and that building factories reduces crime are not explained with a clear link or supporting detail. State your degree of agreement directly and develop fewer reasons more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “First of all” and “Furthermore,” and a concluding paragraph. These markers help identify the main sections, and the discussion generally stays focused on helping others. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The first body paragraph moves from charity to equality, joint decision-making, basic needs and government in a way that does not consistently show how one point leads to the next. “This approach” is also used for different ideas, making references less precise. The conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than drawing the argument together. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, then use clear links to explain how its example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial affluence,” “basic necessities,” “social discontent” and “emotional instability.” This gives the response some range beyond basic everyday language. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which can make meaning less clear: “help others in thick and thin,” “deprivation of hunger,” and “take step to fascilitate” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “spirtual,” “contibuting” and “coommunity” are also noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than choosing formal-sounding phrases; for example, describe people as helping others “in difficult times” and refer to “food shortages” or “hunger.” Proofreading would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea and clauses introduced by “although” and “as a result.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence formation and basic grammar sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. The opening begins “Some people believe…” but follows it with the fragment “While other believe…”. Agreement and verb forms are also problematic in “financial abundance… enable,” “affluence provide,” and “They can mutually decides.” Articles and sentence construction need attention in “provide a opportunity” and “To includes that if a rich person should take part.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles and verb forms before submitting.

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