Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some individuals believe that, the most significant being rich is that one has the the opportunity to help other.l strongly disagree in this statement. from my perspective, some people get money, however, do not spend on the poor people,neither they do not help each other.In asian countries numerous human beings are died beause of straving.Richest people and government take no action.wealth people invest money in bank and companies for the future. some people help each other and provide amenities for dewller. In my opinion, Helping each other can relationship strong.Futhermore, money can spend on lowest people is Finnish poverty. Poor people can give more benefits, if government and richest provide opportunity. There are many drawbacks in richest families. Richest people all time engaged in work and study and do not spend extra money on the poor people. Morever,they do not understanding the importance of poor life.Numerous wealthy individuals are make slave to poor people.sometime l think that, mostly richest have many financial and social problem in their work.Therefore,they do not spend on lowest peope. A large number of people spend my only their children and life.In the world, Some few rich people do pay taxes to the government.consequently,government have no sufficient budget for the help poor people.In many areas poverty people population is rising day by day.Richest people can help their in accomplish their needs.In conclusion, some rich individuals can provide facilities,and opportunities to low quality people from which their crucial needs.both government and rich persons can reduce to poverty.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a position by saying, “I strongly disagree,” and you discuss whether wealthy people help those in poverty, including references to donations, employment, and government tax revenue. These points are relevant to the topic, but the argument is difficult to follow and does not consistently explain why helping others is or is not the most important benefit of being rich. For example, the claim that wealthy people “invest money in bank and companies” is not connected clearly to your position, while the discussion of taxes shifts attention to government responsibility. Develop a small number of relevant reasons with specific explanations or examples, and make your degree of agreement clear throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move from an opening opinion to supporting points and a conclusion, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, so separate arguments are not easy to identify. Ideas also shift abruptly—for instance, from wealthy people’s investments to poverty, then to their work and family spending, and later to taxes—without clear progression. Some links are confusing or contradictory, such as “neither they do not help each other.” Use distinct paragraphs for your position, each main reason, and the conclusion; within each paragraph, explain one point in a logical sequence and use clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “poverty,” “financial,” “opportunity,” “government,” and “provide amenities,” which gives the response some relevant range. However, word choice, word forms, and spelling are often inaccurate or repetitive, and these errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to understand. Examples include “lowest people,” “dewller,” “Finnish poverty,” and “make slave to poor people”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. Phrases such as “richest people” and “poor people” are repeated frequently. Build a reliable set of collocations for discussing wealth and social support, such as “wealthy individuals,” “low-income households,” “alleviate poverty,” and “fund essential services,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You try to express reasons and consequences using structures such as “if government and richest provide opportunity” and “from which their crucial needs,” but sentence forms are often incomplete or incorrectly constructed, and errors frequently obscure meaning. For example, “some people get money, however, do not spend” lacks a clear subject in the second clause, while “In my opinion, Helping each other can relationship strong” is missing the verb structure needed to express the idea. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, as in “government have no sufficient budget.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses with “because,” “although,” and “if.” Review capitalization and punctuation when joining clauses.

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